Discontented

Why am I blogging..?

It is because I think that sometimes it‘s good to express our feelings through the writings. I wonder is that true or not. But I am not denying that I love to write, even now , I am about to complete my first novel, but unfortunately I dun have any contacts who wants to produce my manuskrip. Pity me…but I am so thankful to my hubby, he is such a wonderful guy who promised to help me find any producer to produce my first baby. As a media person, he seems to know a lot of people. Thank you ayang..

Talking about media person, as I see my hubby doing well in his carrier now, and he is so impressed to do his work. Eventhough sometimes he seems to complain that he got to do this and that, but I ‘m happy to see him happy doing his work.

He is a producer and being in production line sometimes make him sacrifice a lot and their life will not as same as other ordinary people. Sometimes his working time is not as same as me, as he had to stay until 3.00 a.m, just to do his editing, got to entertain his client , mix around with so many people, and got to know with all kind of people.

That is so interesting. I was so eager to hear his stories every time he come back home…as it will remind me of my previous time when I was in broadcasting line.

I am not denying too, that I feel so jealous , as if that I want to be like him.

I still remember. I used to do my practical in TV3. I was assigned in Magazine department at Nona and MHI desk. At that particular time, I need to cover a fashion show that was held in Palace of the Golden Horses. But I dun remember, who organized that event. At first I was shocked. In fact I can’t believe that I can get that big event cause it consider my first assignment. It was such a big event and presented by so many vips. How could a practical student like me can handle this assignment.

I wonder why, and I asked my producer kak Hartina, and she just giving a scope while the rest of the whole stories will be mine. O my God. But I was eager at the same time. So I prepared the storyline, conduct interview, assign my production crew and direct the whole team.

And I did it!

My producer quite impressed as that was my first assignment. The very first time I got to face a “big” event at my early age at that time.

That was fun.

I really missed the broadcasting line.

But I’m not regret of what I’ve got now. It just that I do think that I dun get enough satisfaction. I’m not saying that working as a journalist is just for unmarried person. Only the culture of work sometimes makes me think twice. Since I have my only priority, I would feel that my quality time is just for my daughters. that is more important.

And now being in a corporate world make me think again and again and again....I admit that this is my choice, as I got some space for my family. They need me too. The whole family ( especially my mom ) aspect me to be a person who can spend much time with my kids. Even my mother aspect me to be a teacher. A teacher? Hahaha...... but am I happy? I am not. And sometimes I dun know what I really want. Actually I have the answer. But it is too complicated to pour everything here. I would rather keep it as my own secret.

Sometimes i feel unfair. This is not ME.

But I can’t turn back the time

Help

One word...Depressed...Help me.

12 years before...

I really missed my school time memories....I got this from one of my x class mate’s page , Vivian. Really touched when I saw this photo…..

Deadlock

I got a conjuctivities, I got 2 days mc…but today, my eyes getting better so I decided to come to the office. Pity my kids: kakak and adik has been infectious with conjunctivities too. Kakak was worst…she has been infected with both eyes, while adik only her left side eyes…it was so painful…and kakak and adik also had a fever.

Lately so many things happened, as I have a problem with my maid…she insist to buat hal so many times, and sometimes I can’t stand her anymore....but I only think of my kids….it is too many things to recover…I also have to sit a PTD exam…..but since I have not make any preparations, so maybe it will just a “ visit” to the exam hall…I can’t think very well and lately there’s so many things inside my head.

My husband quite buzy too, as he has a new agenda which I think most of the time he might just think of his new office. Eventho I give a full support with his new spirit, and our business now expand very well, but I was worried if he decided to quit his job now. He is too eager to develop the company….and since we already got another contract with Sepang F1 circuit, he’s become really commited to the job. Alhamdulillah…..

I always think that Allah is always FAIR…He will give us trials cos one day He wanted to bestow us goodness. INSYAALLAH