Nobody knows

Sometimes we need to be strong. There is something in my mind that can’t be figure out by words either. I know it’s hard and it’s even harder if I let it be and gone by the wind. I am not strong enaf to face it. I need someone to talk someone to help someone to solve it. But it is not easy. In fact, nobody can help me either and they are just can be the listener. It’s hard to say and it’s harder for me to take it. It is not easy, not easy at all

No matter what, life has to go on. Sometimes I do think of my past, what if I didn’t do that, and I turned to do this. What it would be. What if I never think of that and I just go on with this. What is the impact? Well, it’s even complicated if I think that …no, it shouldn’t be like this, it should be like that. I t doesn’t suit to be like that, it has to be like this. Gosh!!! It takes things not easy for me to be a part of the crisis. I can’t even understand sometimes, why must I feel this and why should I can’t think well. More tragically if sometimes I wonder, why I am supposed to be like this and pretend to be good enough if I really can’t take it at all. I know, it is not easy, not easy..not easy at all…

But thank God I still have strength when I see the two pretty faces smiling and laughing when I really down. Thank God cause you gave me the two little angels for me to survive. Thank God!!!

Headache!!!!!

On Wednesday, when I was in the tren to the office, I can feel something was not right with my head. My headache getting worst and worst this whole week and sometimes I can't even open my eyes. My head was so heavy like I carrying batu besar yang teramat sakitnye..adeehhh..so when I enter the office, quite ok sikit cause pagi lagi so macam sejuk gitu. But when it came to afternoon, I can see twinkle 2 little star over my head and I can see a lots of birds fly through my eyes..plus my head was so heavy like a big big batu ada atas kepala. Argghh !!! I was thinking like if I could have bed , this was the right time for me to ...tido..and I can’t even focus to my notebook..damn!! and my eyes became so so so heavy and about to close and at the same time I can see double at all over the places.

So I decided to take half day and shoot to my panel clinic. As usual the Dr. will check my blood preisure..and as usual..

" Your preisure is ok, normal and I rasa u have to take a long leave for a vacation.”

Ha…tu dia…itu Dr yg kata tu…so adakah bermakna yg aku perlu mengambil cuti panjang untuk bercuti?

“ U ni stress and terlalu banyak berfikir agaknye..take a rest la..”

“ Baiklah Dr..saya mmg nak gi bercuti “

In fact, I feel so released when I was told by the doctor that my blood preisure was normal. If not I have to take care of my diet and maybe since I have a history in high blood preisure during my first pregnancy, so I can feel the pain of having high blood. Teruk nye sampai sekarang aku dapat rasa betapa sakitnye bile darah naik. Rasa loya nak muntah and I can't even walk cause i lost my stability.

So i came back from the clinic and reached home by 3.30 pm.
apa lagi, terus makan ubat dan tido...my kids pulak time tu jugak nak ajak main la apala..dah la aku sakit kepala bagai nak pecah nih, dorang lagi mau suruh aku main masak masak..adeehhh..sorry la anak anak ku , ibu tak larat sangat. So at last I gave them my make -up set ( ini yang stok murahan lama punya dan yang dah abih ), and I let them play make - up, so they enjoyed apply make-up to each other. So aku pun tutup curtain dan terus kebobommm..!!

Don't Speak

by : No Doubt

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though
you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

CHORUS:
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

CHORUS

It's all ending,
I gotta to stop pretending
who we are

You and me
I can see us dying...are we?

CHORUS Return

p/s : This is my favourite song. Eventhough this is quite an old songs, but I do like the lyrics so much. I can feel it and I can feel the tears of being sooo hurt..This song used to be my legend song. Related to some bad stories and some history of my secret sad moment.

Hello 2007

I've been so buzy lately, until I was not so eager to update this blog..pheww..

Anyway, there's nothing important or special that I wanted to highlight. Well, ting tong ting tong we are now have just enter a new year..2007. sekejap je kan..dah tahun baru. heheheh

So for this year, as usual la semua orang ada azam baru kan, ( azam thn lepas pun tak settle lagi nih..), I wanted a few things to be done smoothly through out this whole year. Selain daripada menyambung semula semua azam thn lepas yang terbengkalai, i need to refresh a new resolution in order to encourage myself to be prepared at all time. Insyaalah.....

That's all for now...

P's: aku rasa aku telah diserang satu penyakit. Penyakit yang agak kronik..penyakit malas nak update ...hahaha