The Story Of Me

Feeling great!!!

2009-03-19T14:24:00.010+08:00

Myza won for the 3rd place in colouring competition

School holidays!! Ada beberapa hari je lagi sebelum sekolah nak mula cam biasa. Time ni la aku habiskan masa duk KL. Kakak terpaksa la ponteng tuisyen dia, takpelah seminggu je….

Alhamdulillah, tahap mabuk aku pun dah mula habis. Kali ni memang lain macam daripada yang sebelum ni. Tahap mabuk sampai aku tak leh bangun memang sangatlah menyakitkan, sampai aku rasa serik lak sikit. Itu 4 minggu pertama dulu, makan tak boleh, minum tak boleh, tido pun tak boleh. Yang aku boleh buat hanyalah bau vicks ajer. Semua keje umah memang my maid uruskan and hubby pulak macam tau2 je setiap hari beli lauk sebab aku memang tak masak. Nak masuk dapur pun aku tak selera apatah lagi nak masak. Now, Im entering the second trimester which is 15 weeks nak masuk ke 16 weeks. Baru lah ada rasa lega sikit and what the most important thing is I can cook as usual! Time nil ah semua jenis makanan barulah ada selera nak makan, and dis time I can try my new recipe …. Memang rindu sangat nak masak asam pedas which is my hubby’s favorite too. And one day I made my special ikan parang masak asam pedas campur bendi which I missed so much.!!

I went for my first check up last week at Hospital Columbia, Seremban 2. My hubby and the two kids excited terlebih sampai sanggup tunggu lama kat hospital. I appreciate that which at first I told hubby that I can go by myself, but he insisted to come with me. I met Dr. Intan, and she scans the baby. Dun know why, I feel so excited to see the tiny baby moving and kicking. It was the first experience of Myza and Ain to see the baby. They were so excited too and keep asking me to walk slowly…( macam lah takde experience…) as usual the doctor gave the copy of the baby scan and guess what, Myza yang sangat teruja terus keep the copy in her school bag and told me that she wanted to show it off to her atuk and uwan.

She is so happy, and I can see it when she come over to me everytime I watch TV and automatically say Hi to the baby. Sometimes she kissed my stomach and told me to take care of the baby…seems like she understand my situation and keep telling her adik that there will be new adik soon.!!! Im so glad that at least she could understand and hopefully she can help me after the baby born.

Dis time aku rasa sangat teruja and dun know why Im very excited too. I bought all kind of books of pregnancy to get more information. Memang banyak yang aku dah lupa since I’ve been waiting for 5 years. Setiap hari jugak aku akan pastikan aku amik buah as a dessert and a glass of anmum chocolate milk before I go to sleep. And I’ll try my best to complete reciting the whole Quran which I guess it can be the ‘food’ for the baby too.!!!

Cant wait for the next meeting with Dr Intan to see the progress of my tiny ones !!!

New Version

2009-03-01T10:41:00.020+08:00

Me and Ain

Myza and Ain dah ready depan pintu

Me and Myza

Time flies so fast...everytime I started to blog, I'll keep on promising myself that I will keep on updating dis blog. But sometimes I failed to do so...for the reason that I had no time to keep dis blog alive. Busy is not only the reason, but that is the only reason I have. Lemme list down what comes across in my mind now..

1. Im happy with my life now.

2. I've finished my course last Disember. Satu kelegaan yang teramat luar biasa!!!!!

3. Ive been posted to somewhere near my place, easy to get reach to

4.I enjoyed myself during long school holidays, went for vacation and spent time with the kids at home.

5. I'm so glad that I can get rid of the office busy and sickening environment. It makes me headache with all the urgent meeting, proposal, bosses, appointment and dateline. Im free now !!!

6. I love with what Im doing now.

7. I can cook, cook, cook and cook more often during weekend. Kitchen in still my best 'corner'. Tried more recipies and i enjoyed doing the cooking. My new menu yesterday was Ayam Panggang with sweet sour sauce. Hubby Loves it so much and promise him to cook more often.

8. Myza and Ain enjoyed their school world now. But sometimes Ain shows her lazy faces when she is not in the mood of going to school. The ayah with his so kind hearted will say " ok, adik demam yer, but tomorrow adik skolah tau, promise!". And it makes me pening lalat everytime I called the maid asking for them and found that Ain is busy with her Tom and Jerry show. Pengsan...

9. My maid has agreed to continue her service. It really makes me feel bettteeeerrrrr....

10. Lastly, im happy with the good news. Myza and Ain will have new adik sooonnnnn!!!!! Mission accomplished!!!!

Till we meet again!!!

Im back to normal!!!

2008-08-11T16:08:00.006+08:00

I'm back!!!

It's been a long time I havent update dis blog...obviously I feel weird ..dun know how to start with and what to write on....but, there's so many things in my mind. Thank you to all my friend who keep on texting me, calling and asking why am I so quite all dis while...sorry ....., for some reason that I couldnt answer your calls and unable to reply your messages. It's not that I have forgotten you guys but it's just that I really need a space to cater all things that need me to be focussed on.

I should say thank you to my hubby for giving my "live" again. As before I didnt borther about dis blog, I ignored my trouble tripple broadband problem ( now it's ok oredi)..and I never care bout all those things around me. What I know is ..assignements, assignments, assignments and assignments. Pepole would think that im too serious about my course..but that is just on people's thought. i'll tell bout my activities in my future entry....but now..i feel a lil bit okay..and plus, now i'm having my practicum that required me to go to school everyday..( i like it eventhough my pupils made me crazy sometimes...but still, I can go back at 1 ..that's the most important thing...huhuhu ) and of course .... I'm counting my school holidays soon..hahahah...

However, I still have time to go for my vacations...although it was just a weekend stay, but it was enaugh for me. ( will update my pictures soon!!) .Thank you again to Mr Amran for his understanding about his problematic wife that always borther him at midnight asking him bout a tiny little problem that he should not borther to. But he was still okay, never give up listening to my 'words' every time I feel down.

oh.. I think that's enaugh about Mr Amran huhuh....

Well, my kids are just fine..both are happy staying here with their uwan and atuk. nothing much I can say, they treat my kids more than me...they got super duper first class "treatment" than me...and they became closer to them. This place is heaven to them!!they got everything, just name it!! ( sometimes i think it is not good , but nevermind, it's just for a temporary rite, )

I think that's all for now....I've so many pictures to be update soon...many more stories too!!

see ya!!!!

My NEW world

2008-02-23T12:27:00.008+08:00

I am in the library now, try to finish one of my assignment...I just got my new "baby"....my new Maxis wireless broadband...and now it is easier for me to browse the internet. My laptop seems to be my "bestfriend" now..I have to carry dis heavy thing averytime during the lectures coz there are a lots of task that required me to use this thing. A lot of presentation that needs me to use the power point slides. What to do..dis time around I need to find some space to settle all my work. At first, it's quite difficult for me to adapt with all this thing. It's been a while since I leaved my campus life, so it goes back to the square ones. I wish I could go and find some time for shopping during dis weekend...but...U WISH!!

Since I entered IPIK, my life totally different. No more free time, no more relaxing but totally my head was FULL with a lot of things to be done. It is a short course so, definitely I have to follow all the T & Co..( whatever) that stated here..the time table was extremely pack...class will start at 8.00 am and will be end at 4.30 p.m everyday, except for Friday. Friday will be heaven coz it's only a half day class ...but..u think I can go back that early?? U WISH la...there are a lot of activities waiting in the afternoon...have to join all the Gerko activities and badan beruniform....and have to join the camping and Bina Insan Guru soon..haiyya...dis is what the government servant usually do...

At first I felt a bit shocked..I consult with my hubby, dis and that, and he seems like marah me coz I never feel grateful of what I have now. There are thousand of people waiting for the empty place here and yet I was complaining all the time...yeah..he is right la...dis is actually what I want..so I should not be borther with all dis husle thingy and I was afraid that God will not blessing me.

Sometimes I wonder , why we never feel satisfied. Perhaps the quoates manuisa tak pernah merasa puas is correct. It's not that I dun like to be here, but u know, when u got something ( that u maybe wish ) , u still want more and more.... strange la kan. It's including me la...hehehe...so I kept telling myself, maybe this is what God wants me to be. At least I dun need to use the komuter anymore..thank GOD!!

So Long

2008-02-05T11:36:00.000+08:00

Dear All

I want to bid farewell to you all and inform you that today is my last day in M__d__e. As I move on, I would like to take a moment to remember and cherish our times together. It's been great interacting and knowing each one of you.

I have enjoyed working for this company and I appreciate having had this wonderful opportunity to work with you all.

With many of you I have shared a unique chemistry which I hope will continue in the years to come even though I shall not be here with the company.

Last but certainly not least, I would like to thank all of you for your many kind words and never-ending support. It was a great journey which I called to be one of the greatest experiences working here.

Thank you again and I do wish the company very success in all it future endeavors.

Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

Regards
aNies

My last email to all my colleagues. As I will be joining a govt sector soon, I really hope that I still have time to update my blog. maybe it is not too often, but I will try to slot in whenever free. Looks like I have to register for Maxis Broadband so that I can bring my wireless with my own laptop wherever I go...hehehehe...good plan.

p/s: It's hard to believe that I will be entering a new episode in my life. I pray day and night and at last God grant me with this terrific moment of time.

Happy Birthday Ayang!!

2008-02-04T16:33:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time I haven’t update my blog..lots of work, plus my office has move on to a new office building which is now in UOA, so I have no time to see this blog and plus the internet connection was so bad..( yela..baru pindah kan,,,wiring pun cam tak complete ).

Actually , I have so many things to tell, and so many many things in my mind, its juz that I have a limited time to share with.

But today is my Husband’s birthday. Today is his 33rd birthday. Dis morning before I walked out from the car, I’ve wished him Happy Birthday with one kiss..he juz smiled and knowing that he actually not so bother bout the prezie, I feel a bit guilty for not buy anything yet. Looks like I have to ask him to decide what he wants and we will get it soon or later.

Luckily he is not kind of person who is sensitive about his birthday. Not like me…I always become emo if I know that he’s forgetting my big day.. sungguh tak aci kan??

Well, that’s woman. We really adore someone who always listen and remember our big or special day. Tak gitu?

So, there’s nothing I wanted from him. It’s only his love. Dat’s all.

And one more thing, I’m happy coz at last my dreams come true. I’m glad that my Myza is finally happy with her school. She’s so happy with her friends and Im happy for her too.

One more thing..I have only 1 day before I leave this office and tomorrow will be my last day. Yes, I’m leaving. It is not a crucial decision since I know dis is my choice. I’v made up my mind and God knows what I’m doing. Thanks to Allah, at last my pray and my dream to be in Govt sector has come true.

p/s: Wanna have a celebration with my darling tonite..yehaaaa!!!

My True Love

2007-12-21T11:22:00.001+08:00

Today is our day. Today is the 5^th celebration of our anniversary. One kiss is enough to tell him how much I love him dis morning. I whispered to his ears..we were meant to each other, let's be a great lover forever..I want nothing, except his true love. 5 years is not a short period I guess. But I’m proud that we are able to face all the obstacles in our marriage. It is not easy cause I was married at my age of 24 and he was 27. Quite young I guess so. However we never regret that, in fact I feel grateful cause at the age of 25 I already have my first princess. That is the precious prezzie for our first anniversary 4 years ago.

I juz love dis man. He is my husband, my brother, my great friend, my business partner and sometimes he can be my father too. Nothing much I can say to describe my feeling towards him. When I sad, I seek for Allah but he’s the one to be my shoulder to cry. When the time I feel not good, ( cause my mood is always unpredictable), he’s the one who cushion me with his sweet talk., he dun know how to be a poetic lover actually, but he tried so hard to be my great romantic partner. I dun mind and I dun bother. I juz love the way he is, cause I already know from the first time we met that he is a very simple person. But when the times he had to consider being romantic, I can see he struggling very hard to make me happy.

I still remember during my birthday last year. He tried to make a surprise. I know he is not that kind of person. But that short moment of surprise make me cry. As I asked him, why did u do all this? He juz said that he wanted to have something different on my birthday and at that time I was speechless cause before that I’ve scold him for not remembering my birthday. And he juz told me that he never forget my big day. How sweet.

I dun ask much. I juz want to be at his side forever. I juz want him to be the father of my children forever. I juz want him to know that I love him. We appreciate the special 'touch' we have. We appreciate the companionship more. We feel the love deeply in our hearts. We now know that we pledge our marriage in God's name.

What more can I say bout dis man?

He is juz HIM. He is the one who I knew 5 years before.

Thank you Allah for giving HIM as my husband. :)

I know

2007-12-19T11:49:00.000+08:00

I know God loves me, I know God has a better plan for me, I know ....

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-11T15:35:00.000+08:00

Wajah-wajah penawar duka

Today is their special day..Amyza is 4 and Ain is 3. As a mother, of course I wanted to see my children grown up well and willing to do anything juz to make them happy. As I woke up this morning, I saw my kids were still sleeping. From their purity faces, it reflects everything to me. Dah besar anak aku dahhh…

Given birth to both of them inspired me a truly experience in my life. I can still remember…looking back to the previous moments, I feel scared. 10 disember 2003 was actually my weekly pregnancy checkup at Pusat Rawatan Islam Jalan Ipoh. Actually my due date was on 25th Disember 2003, but unfortunately, when the doctor checked on my BP, he feels uncomfortable. My BP was higher than normal. And I can still remember that I almost fell down whenever I wanted to stand up. I assume that it was normal cases, but the doctor said it was a bit dangerous as the baby could be drowning. He suggested me to deliver earlier and without any compromise he forced me to be warded. I called up my mother to pack all my stuff and rush to the hospital. My mother was panic at first but I told her that it was just a small matter. At that time I was alone as hubby was still working in Seremban. So I managed everything including matters of ward registration on my own.

I was admitted for one night and the doctor told me that by the next day I have to deliver the baby by induce. 11 Disember 2003, very early in the morning I was ordered by the nurses to be in the labor room. At first, I was a bit scared, my mother and hubby were still not around, as they promised to come at 10 am. I asked the nurse to wait for them for a while, but the nurses refused as they said the doctor has given me a medicine, dun know what medicine is, but it is just to break that air ketuban. So I agreed.

In the labor room, I was induced with 2 pines of water. After 4 hours, I can feel the contraction all over my stomach. Then they add another 1 pine. It was so pain. The contraction become frequent, as I can remember every 5 minutes, and that is a sign that the baby is about to enter the womb top. My hubby was in the room as well, and keeps on asking me to be patient.

The contraction became harder. And all the nurses and doctor were already in the room. It was 6.30 p.m. I can still remember, as this is my first time, so I dun know how to push. Huhuhuhuh. It was a bit suspend as the doctor has gave up. They asked me if I was unable to push, and they wanted to use vacuum.

But I refused. I tried so hard and after 1 hour, the baby came out. The first thing I saw on my baby was the lips. The lip was so red. Like mine..heehehe

And suddenly I cried when the baby was on my chest with blood all over the body. She was so small..Oh my God. What a great experience. And now the baby has turn to 4 years old. Heheheh.

The first experience was a bit hard I can say. It was totally different for the second experience. The experience was like almost the same, but the “journey” was a bit different. It was a same date..11 disember 2004. At that time, we were celebrating Myza year one birthday party at my place in Seremban. But I can feel strange all over my body, as I can feel some contraction in my stomach. I told hubby, and he asked me to go to the clinic. But I juz told him since my due is another 2 weeks time, so I take it easy la.

At that particular day, eventho I can feel contraction starting from morning, but I managed to cook and prepare my main dish for that party celebration. We celebrated the party with my pale face. Strange kan? And because of the spirit to celebrate my first year daughter’s birthday, I keep ignoring all the pain!! terer tu…

After the party over, I can’t stand it anymore. I told hubby, the frequency of the contraction is between 10 minutes each. I was not feeling good; this is not a normal contraction. Hubby rushed me to Pusat Rawatan Islam Senawang and at that time I can’t even walk because of the pain. I was sweating all over the body and all the way to the centre, I was terribly painful.

When I reached there, the doctor told me that my womb has been opened for 5 cm. That means I can deliver in anytime!! I was admitted to the labor room immediately. Everyone was rushing, and the doctor told hubby to pack all my stuffs cause I will deliver in anytime. I was panicked as I saw everybody ( nurses ) rushing everywhere to ensure that everything is completely ready.

O My God

The doctor scolded me for not coming earlier. The baby has a potential to be drown if I was a bit late. As I told her the contraction was not harder until an hour before so I just assume that it was a normal pain. I was admitted to the labor room and at the same time I asked hubby to back home and pack all my stuff.

A few minutes later, about 10 minutes time, I cannot stand anymore. The contraction was harder. I was sweating. I told the doctor..I wanted to push as I can feel the baby is coming out. Yups,. I was correct. With only 15 minutes struggling with the painful, the baby came out. Woohooo….it was so easy. I heard some stories that the second time would be much easier. And I was so relieved cause not until an hour I was in the labor room, the baby was delivered safely. By the time my hubby arrived, he was shocked to see me and the baby were safe. He was like…”eh dah ke? Cepatnye??” hahahaha. Plus, the doctor congratulates me for giving birth in such a short time: in just 20 minutes. Alhamdulillah..

Both different experiences teach me a lot. Even though it is almost 5 years ago, the moment is still fresh. Now I know, it is not easy to be a mother. We are struggling in death and live situation. All husbands should be at their wife’s side to see how pain the wife is.

I love my children very much. They are my life and my spirit. I dun bother anything other than giving the best to them. I’m willing to do anything…just name it.

For this year’s birthday, I dun ask much. It is enough to see them healthy and happy!

Isolated

2007-12-03T11:41:00.000+08:00

I dun feel like talking today. I came to the office and I heard the good and bad news. She will be away from me after dis. The good news is, I’m proud of her for getting a better job than current. And the bad news is, I would be lonely and nobody will accompany me for lunch. I feel so sad. I tried to be as usual. Knowing that she only has another 1 month to go before she join the new company, I feel so isolated. I keep telling myself, "dun be like this..dun be like this…it is not the end of the world" and Im tired of giving myself a “strength words” so that I can overcome my sorrow.

I dun feel like doing anything. I keep on looking at my table today: and the laptops with a so many proposals need to be amended and my email has cramp up with so many Urgent flags to be read. But I keep on ignoring those. There’s a lot of task waiting but I was demotivated again.

I keep on motivate myself to be patient. By looking at my kids photo on my table somehow inspired me though. I rang them and by hearing their voice I feel a bit calm.

I know this is not right.

p/s: I need a break

What Kids Say About: Handling Stress

2007-11-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

Compared with what adults face, it might seem like kids don't have that much to stress about. But kids have their own concerns - and sometimes feel stress, just as adults do. And kids' stresses can be just as overwhelming, particularly if they don't have effective coping strategies.

I like this article..

What Parents Can Do

You may not be able to prevent your child from feeling frustrated, sad, or angry, but you can provide the tools your child needs to cope with these emotions.

Notice out loud. Tell your child when you notice something he or she might be feeling. ("It seems like you still feel mad about what happened at the playground, huh?") This shouldn't sound like an accusation (as in: "OK, what happened now? Are you still mad about that?") or make a child feel put on the spot. It's just a casual observation that you're interested in hearing more about your child's concern.

Listen to your child. Ask your child to tell you what's wrong. Listen attentively and calmly - with interest, patience, openness, and caring. Avoid any urge to judge, blame, lecture, or tell your child what he or she should have done instead. The idea is to let your child's concerns (and feelings) be heard. Encourage your child to tell the whole story by asking questions like "And then what happened?" and to keep going with "What else happened?" and "ummm-hmmm." Take your time. And let your child take his or her time, too.

Comment briefly on the feelings you think your child was experiencing as you listen to the story. For example, you might say something like: "That must have been upsetting," or "No wonder you felt mad when they wouldn't let you in the game," or "That must have felt unfair to you." Doing this shows that you understand what your child felt, why he or she felt that way, and that you care. Feeling understood and listened to helps your child feel connected to you, and that is especially important in times of stress.

Put a label on it. Many kids do not yet have words for their feelings. If your child seems angry or frustrated, use those feeling words to help your child learn to identify the emotions by name. That will help put feelings into words so they can be expressed and communicated more easily, which helps your child develop emotional awareness - the ability to recognize his or her own emotional states. A child who is able to recognize and identify emotions is less likely to reach the behavioral boiling point where strong emotions get demonstrated through behaviors rather than communicated with words.

Help your child think of things to do. Suggest activities your child can do to feel better now and to solve the problem at hand. Encourage your child to think of a couple of ideas. You can get the brainstorm started if necessary, but don't do all the work. Your child's active participation will build confidence. Support your child's good ideas and add to them as needed. Ask, "How do you think this will work?" Sometimes talking and listening and feeling understood is all that's needed to help a child's frustrations begin to melt away. Other times the thing to do is to change the subject and move on to something more positive and relaxing. Don't give the problem more attention than it deserves.

Just be there. Sometimes kids don't feel like talking about what's bothering them. It's a good idea to respect that, give your child space, and still make it clear that you'll be there when he or she does feel like talking. Even when kids don't feel like talking, they usually don't want parents to leave them alone. You can help your child feel better just by being there - to keep him or her company and spend time together. So if you notice your child seems to be down in the dumps, stressed, or having a bad day - but doesn't feel like talking - initiate something you can do together. Take a walk, watch a movie, shoot some hoops, or bake some cookies. Isn't it nice to know that your presence really counts?

Be patient. As a parent, it hurts to see your child unhappy or worried. But try to resist the urge to fix every problem. Instead, focus on helping your child, slowly but surely, grow into a good problem-solver - a kid who knows how to roll with life's ups and downs, put feelings into words, calm down when needed, and bounce back to try again. Remember that you can't fix everything, and that you won't be there to solve each problem as your child goes through life. But by learning healthy coping strategies, your child can manage whatever stresses come in the future.

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness

P/s: Looks like it is not easy to be a GREAT mother rite..:)

Alert all the time

2007-11-28T16:07:00.000+08:00

I was in the office.. I was juz finished talking over the phone with my daughter Myza and Ain. They insist to talk to me longer, however I cant. I told them i'm still working and will meet them when I came back home. Before dat I have just visited Nurin's blog and had read one of the entry which has been posted as REVISITING THE NURIN'S TRAGEDY: A DIAGNOSTIC ANALYSIS REPORT by Munira Mustaffa.

I become the silent reader of Nurin’s blog. I really wanted to know who the evil is. I become emotional every time I think of that. Until now I am so eager and always keep myself updated regarding the case. Arwah Nurin has left us for 100 days..but until now the villain are still free…meaning that we are not safe.

Some people might say dat I was juz too emotional. Even my hubby told me the same. I admit that. Every day when I want to go to the office, I will keep on telling my maid to lock all the doors. I think she might get fed up of me for reminding her same words every day, but I dun care. I told her to keep ignoring every single person who gives salam or what ever. And I always told her that she is not allowed to open the gate and the door must always be lock all the time. And I paste up every emergency numbers beside the house phone as well.

Maybe..I became paranoid. I keep on thinking of my kids at home and I cant stop myself from calling home for more than 4 times a day. It’s juz a few seconds to hear their voice. Dat’s enough. And at the same time I always remind my hubby to keep on eyes of the house when he got a free time. His office is juz a few minutes from my house. So it is easier for him to monitor.

I was juz thinking of my daughter Myza when she starts schooling next year. There is a kindergarten near my house currently and I wanted to send her there. At first I thot of sending her to Smart Reader in Senawang, but that place is quite far. And of course eventho the school is quite near, I still dun trust anybody to send or pick her up from school. Including my maid too. So maybe I decided to ask my hubby to send Myza every day and pick her up when she finished at 12.00 pm. I hardly convince my hubby to take the responsibility. I told him to be alert all the time.

Am I too bad?

Right now I have a single checklist before I enroll Myza to school next year. A few important things that need more attention especially regarding the transportation thing.

This is juz for a start and knowing that Malaysia is not safe like previous years before, it is not impossible if one day I decided to quit my job.

Relieved

2007-11-13T15:03:00.000+08:00

Ahhhh…It’s good to be back…I was extremely tired last weekend. I know it is not easy to get what we really want. It was 3 days and 2 nights being in INTAN Wilayah Tengah for my assessment. It is also called PTD Assesment Centre ( PAC ) and dis is the platform where when we already passed the examination, we had to be evaluating during the assessment in mentally and physically aspects. It is not easy, I tell you.

In overall, I might say dat my performance was Ok Ok la…in fact, the module was definitely different from the previous intake. That is no the main problem. But the challenge was when you are not ready with the topic given especially the public speaking session, then you may have a big problem. Alhamdulillah I managed to finish the public speaking and pengucapan awam ( malay ) successfully. Some people who was given a hard topic like Economi had to cramp up their mind with an unpredictable topic given. Some performed well but some were totally lost as they cant figure out the main point to be elaborate.

Everybody seems to look stressed during the assessment. Since INTAN Wilayah Tengah did not provide an accommodation, so I had to drive all the way from Ampang to PJ everyday by 7 a.m and back to home at 11 p.m. We did’nt given much time to seek for the information regarding the public speaking and pengucapan awam session too. So everybody was just like a zombie figure out what to talk about but some had an alternative by browsing the internet. Well, like I said, it was not easy..When I was there, I hardly imagine that I was in The Apprentice program. Yups, the concepts was much same as that program where they have the evaluator and we as the contestants had to show off our capability and strength. They dun talk much as they were only the OBSERVER. But to me, I dun expected to change my character, and it’s better to be myself in a natural ways.

Oh dear….my mind relieved as the Sunday came. That was the finale. It was a hard test. When I came back home after the whole session finished, my mind was so heavy. There was a chocked inside my throat. I felt like crying but there were no tears in my eyes. I feel strange a bit as I know I am the person who are easily cry when the time I really wanted to cry. I dun know how to explain but the burden over my head was totally disappeared. So many things came out after all…I was captured again by the moment starting from the first day at the PAC. It was like a playback and all moment were still fresh.

Oh God...I realized it is not easy to get what we really want. I've tried my very best...I carried away my whole famili's hope, especially mum and my two princess. I've learn a lot..and I thought of so many things...as I drove back home late Sunday, I find myself like a person in a battle who were fighting to be the winner...and the " trophy " is unnecessary be mine...maybe win or lost.

I tried so hard...and the rest I just leave it to Allah s.w.t.

November Rain

2007-11-06T17:25:00.000+08:00

I just love dis song...very much

November Rain
by Guns 'N Roses

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

Another nightmare

2007-11-05T16:55:00.000+08:00

TOO LATE FOR REGRET
Rahman Daros

SOMETIMES, the choices you make will haunt you for the rest of your lives.

The parents of Preeshena Varshiny, nine, will no doubt, spend years wondering “What if ...” Last Thursday, Preeshena was found sprawled on the ground floor of Casa Mila Tower Condominium in Selayang.

The pupil of Sekolah Kebangsaan St Mary had been brutally raped and sodomised before she was mercilessly fl ung off a balcony by her assailant.

“My only mistake was that I left her alone at home. Now, I regret what had happened,” said her father, who refused to be identified.

His wife had just started working again after being a housewife for two years.

Preeshena had been left alone at home since last month.

Her mother, who also wanted to remain anonymous, wished that she had never taken the job.

“I regret taking the new job. We always taught her to be careful, especially after Nurin’s (Jazlin Jazimin) case.”

“I told her what rape was all about, the improper touching by strangers and all the precautions. I’m sure she struggled with her killer as she was a tough girl,” she said. The security guard who was on duty on the day of the incident, said he did not hear anyone screaming on his watch.

“I only heard a loud sound, like something exploded. I thought one of the machines at the laundry shop on the ground floor had exploded, because it was so loud,” he said.

The guard, who also refused to be named, said he was told that four men, a security guard and four foreigners, in their 20s and 30s, were picked up on Friday night to facilitate investigations.

Gombak police chief Assistant Commissioner Mohd Abdullah said no arrests have been made. “We are still investigating,” he said.

It was reported that the victim’s apartment was locked and that there were no signs of forced entry.

Preeshena’s slippers were still in front of the door.

Police are also looking at the possibility that the victim had been taken to a vacant unit on the second floor where she was believed to have been attacked and murdered.

- The Malay Mail

Oh dear..not again…I cant imagine the sorrow of the parents who had to face this kinda situations….as it looks like Malaysia is not safe anymore?? Even when this kid was in her own house can get raped by the sick molester?

What a “peaceful” Malaysia now…

I become emotional when I read this news today..no one can described the anger of the father when knowing that his kid has been raped in that horrible and sadistic situation. Me..like all mother out there can imagine how difficult to accept this. Enough..We dun want any similar "Nurin tragedy".

Looks like I can’t trust anyone now…

P/s: Never leave your child alone

Dizzy

2007-10-31T12:07:00.000+08:00

Feel lazy to type, and feel dizzy to think..but too much to tell ....

How??

I've been buzy lately...work...work...and work...

Been here and there alone...since hubby is always not around...busy with his new project *sigh

I'm tired.....

Raya!!!

2007-10-19T15:07:00.000+08:00

We had a good time celebrating raya in KB. For the first day of Raya, my mother in law prepared nasi dagang and ketupat palas while on the second day of raya, we had a menu of nasi minyak ayam gorang berempah. A lot of visitors came during the first and second day of raya and most of them are my husband’s relatives. Letih nak menerangkannya, just look at the pictures below...

Adik and kakak di pagi raya

We spent for 7 days and 6 nights in Kota Bharu. Sakan la kat sana...and we supposed to go back to KL on Wednesday , but suddenly we changed plan and decided to spend 1 night in Terengganu. So on Wednesday morning, we leaved Kota Bharu and went to Sutera Beach Resort in Setiu Terengganu.

Beautiful scenery

The pool

Well, since it was a sudden plan, we didn't expected to bring our ordinary beach goodies for the children. So, terpaksala anak anak aku pakai je apa yang ada....we tried to search around tapi kebanyakan kedai tutup.

kakak tengah lukis

swimming lagi

We plan to come here again next time. It is a beautiful place and the scenery was so nice! Thank you ayang for bringing us here!!

It's time to go back dear!!

Salam Aidilfitri

2007-10-09T12:44:00.001+08:00

Hari Raya is coming…Ramadan is leaving….so sad….I will be celebrating this Raya at my hubby's hometown in Kota Bharu. It is almost a year since we went back last year on Raya Haji. So dis Raya would be in Kelantan mood…no ketupat, no rendang and no nasi impit. I will missed my mum’s kuah kacang.

We will be back on this Wednesday after break fast. I would prefer to travel at night since me and the kids can get enough sleep. So I forced my hubby to go back at night. Traveling will be takes time about 7 hours ++. So I will ensure everything complete before we start the journey. My tiger bum, of course is a must. It will keep me fresh when I feel dizzy mizzy. And not to forget the sweater for the children, plus some biscuits for them as a lure whenever they start to buat perangai.

I dun feel the warm of Raya mood this year. Maybe because I will be far apart from my family. Well, to be fair and square, I never complain to my hubby for the matter of balik raya . Almost 5 years of my marriage, we managed to face it peaceful, I mean no big argue on this issue. But of course, when I hear the takbir raya on the first raya, I will definitely shed my tears. Almost every time when the time we were in Kelantan, the same thing happens to me. I dun know, it is like a routine for me when being far apart from my family. My hubby has been immune with the scenario. As usual he will try to persuade me with his normal sweet talk…."takpe..call lah mama…it’s ok Yang…bukan lama pun ….etc". Normallah..nak pujuk.

Well, that's life.

For all my frens, I would like to wish Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin. May God bless u all and have a very safe journey!

p/s: Get well soon Tun Mahathir!

p/s: There are emails circulating about the post-mortem pictures of Arwah Nurin, which I think is so horrendous. Please, let's give some respect to Arwah. Anybody who has those autopsy pictures, please....stop forwarding them around...

my plant is dying...

Sleepy

2007-10-03T16:06:00.000+08:00

I feel damn sleepy. It is normal, when u enter the office, with loads of works yg tak settle settle...

Plus my daily routine now is busier...and plus me lack of sleeping...damn....tersangat mengantuk..

Nasib bulan poser....if not I will definitely had my coffee break

I was thinking, how nice if I just can lie down like a sleeping beauty...

or just watching TV at home....

or stay at beach for a couple of days without thinking of work..

Shop, shop and shop without limits....

while driving my dream car

Phheeww...

and I can have my own room as a BOSS...!!!

Walla!!!

Mama oh Mama

2007-09-28T12:53:00.000+08:00

I wanted to suggest something to my hubby. How nice if I can stay here nearby my mom’s house. So I can be closed with my mama..

For the first time ever, I wanted to highlight a bit about my mother. Here, eventho she might not read this.

Being anak mama is a grateful to me, cause being pampered with mama is very “worth it” I can say. Even now, I'm still using mama as my mentor. She is everything to me....without mama, I’m definitely lost. Eventho I have my beloved husband, but still, mama is always the frontliner. When something happen to me, either it is good or bad thing ( not referring to my marriage matter) believe me, mama is the first person I called, then only my hubby. And thank God, hubby is always understand. He never ask me so much about that, and he know that eventho I'm attached with mama, he's never been neglected.

When I was still single, I can remember the keyword of mama everytime she called me :

"nak balik pukul berapa harini ni? Keluar dengan sapa? Balik cepat! "

Actually I already know the questions before she asked. Besides, some of my frens have been called by mama too everytime she failed to get me. Adehh.....malu jer...hik. But I know, she always worries about me.

Now when I already have my own family, the keyword has been changed.

" Anak-anak ok tak? Bawak pegi jalan pegang tangan dorang...jangan lupa ".

Still. She sounds so worried.

I can’t imagine how’s life without her. And now i realized it is not easy to be a mother, cause now I am about to feel the same as mama too. And dis Raya, looks like I will be far apart from mama. So sad....that means I can’t taste mama’s cooking on the pagi raya. Though I can had her cooks everyday, ( since now I'm still staying in Ampang ) , but still, the tasty of her cook especially her rendang ayam and kuah satay is soooo marvelous. Even my hubby respects her cooking too.

When staying at mama’s house, I feel sooooo relieved. Not because of I am rarely entered the kitchen on weekdays lately, but the way my mom treats the kids alone is just the same as she treat me when I was small. The way she talk and the way she cherish my kids is as same as me. I feel so relieved when everytime I come back home and see my kids are always safe. And it is different when I stay alone in my house and just hope for my maid to look after my daughters everyday. The feel is very different. Everyday I will call once an hour, just to ensure that they are fine.

But that doesn't mean that I make used of her goodness, I just wanted to be near and closed to her everyday. Of course I dun want to trouble her so much and I know that now is her time to rest at home after so many years working in office. And that doesn't mean that I wanted to stay with mama forever. I need my own house too, and I have my life with hubby too. It's just that I feel how nice if I can stay nearby.

But one thing, me and mama sometimes can be defined as a good cat fighter too. Hahahah..why do I say that? Eventho we were closed, but when the times in arguing something, I can bet you…she will always be the winner..huhuhuuh….mak kalah tau…hahahah

But it doesn’t reflect me anything, I am get used of it recently. But one more thing can be described my mama…she puts a very high expectations on me..... everything I do, I will refer to her, eventho to the very small thing pun. My life, my carrier, my family and everything has been monitored by mama....and definitely sometimes, it makes me stressed a bit....cause since she already put a very high expectations on me, she always dreams and hopes the very best from me, and if I failed to give her the best, she will feel sad, and me…will definitely feel sad, guilty, regret and what ever…Well, that is the worst case scenario for me.

I can remember once, when at one time I failed PTD exam, I can see the regret on her face, eventho she hardly convince me to try again later, but still, I know she felt so sad and frustrated. I really can’t take that. I really can’t even look she feel sad, in whatever situation, I will feel the same too.

But I know, my mama is always No 1 in my heart.

P/S : Love U ma..

Berangan

2007-09-25T09:37:00.000+08:00

I was cleaning up my room last night. Suddenly I found my previous photos*masa zaman muda muda dulu...heeee

Terus tak jadik buat kerja...dok ngadap benda tu jer...huhuhuhu...oh well, there's not so much different between dulu ngan sekarang....hahahaha...

Terus termenung jap, memikirkan kisah muda muda dolu...hahaha..and as usual terus termenung memikirkan masa depan....

Suddenly so many things crossed in my mind, and lately I was thinking of doing something beneficial for myself...including my plan to open a kindergaten...soon....that is actually my dreams. I was actually do some research lately, google here and there just to gather any info related to this business. And I find that there is a lot of plan to be done. *phew...Bilalah nak kaya nih...

Al-Fatihah

2007-09-21T09:35:00.000+08:00

Untuk adik Nurin...
bersemadilah dengan aman...

syurga pasti menantimu disana....

Tiring day

2007-09-20T10:55:00.000+08:00

My maid is not around at the moment. So lately everything has to be on my own. Now I know how difficult am I if I dun have maid. For a time being, my mom will look after my two kids when I’m working. Luckily, my two princess have already trained for toiletry usage since they are 2. I trained them to shi shi by their own since they are 2 years old. And luckily my two kids can get used of it.

Alhamdulillah, until now, they are ok with it and not even 1 day pun they missed their daily routine. Even at night they dun need any diepers. I will ask them to go for shi shi and brush their teeth first before they asleep. It‘s their routine since they are 2 and everyday, I will ensure they wash their hands and foot before they go to sleep. So it is easier for me and even my maid dulu cause they are now not depends on their pampers anymore. And it is safer too. Heheheh…

Back to my maid story, when I dun have any helper around, of course it’s quite tiring for me because I have to wash my baju and everything. Nasib la skang sumer pakai mesin, but luckily I have my mom, who will cater all the masak – masak thingy but at the same time I have to help my mom too.

And luckily at the moment we stay at my mom’s house, if not I have to think of my house pulak. Argghhhh…terpaksala kerja kerja mengemop lantai, vacuum, mengemas and whatever which I’ve already leave it 100% to my maid before would be my responsibility. What a tiring day…

And luckily this Ramadan I stay in Ampang. So I dun have to wake up at 4 a.m to serve a sahur for my hubby. If not my hubby will only wake up when everything is ready on the table, then he just wallop the food when the dish is ready to serve. Huhuhuhuh..,..what a King kan?

So that’s why lately, when I come back from office I will eat and then just go to sleep as early as I can. And surprisingly, not even 10 minutes, I can already have my sweet dreams….

My heart is always be with YOU

2007-09-19T11:56:00.000+08:00

Every time I saw News nowadays about the missing children, I feel choked, sad, worry, and even angry too. Before this we had a big trauma of missing Yin. The whole Malaysian seems to be mourning, and sad of the missing Yin. Almost everyday we can read the news of searching Yin everywhere and the reward increased every single day too. But thank God, Yin at last was found by a family of Myanmar who "keep him for a while".

Now, again we were shocked of missing Nurin Jazlin who has been missing since August 20th, 2007. She is only 8 years old and was reportedly missing when she went out to Pasar Malam on the night of 20thAugust. She failed to return home after going to the pasar malam alone at 8.30pm that day.

How come the parents can let her out to Pasar Malam alone?? Her mother allowed her to go on her own to the pasar malam as it was close to their flat. Eight years old kid cannot be trusted to be alone in the big crowd of pasar malam. They cannot be trusted 100 %. They are still young and small. Maybe we dun know what is actually happen at the night, but the fact is, kids are fragile, and crimes can be everywhere.

A few days later, sources said that a neighbour’s daughter had seen a man, standing outside a van and later pulling Nurin into the vehicle. Nurin was seen being pulled into a van near a pasar malam in Wangsa Maju where she had gone. And search of Nurin become wider, lots of campaign and articles are spread out every where. But still, there is no news for Nurin. Where is she?

And more tragically, we again heard of another cruel murder of kid aged between 8 and 10. The child's naked body was found stuffed in a foetal position inside a gym bag and the said, the child's body was wiped clean of evidence. The gym bag was new too. How could anyone do this??

Other than the horrific circumstances of her murder, nothing is known about her. And why has no one come forward to claim her as their own? It is beyond human capacity to imagine that such a thing could happen. I feel sad when fisrt time I heard the news in Buletin Utama. I feel angry and at the same time so sad. I would feel that she is just like any other kids too. So naïve.

I can’t even read or listen to this kind of news anymore. It makes me feel sad, and even now I already had tears in my eyes.

Where is Nurin?

And how come this girl of no identity can be murdered in such a sadistic death…

I really dun have the answer…

I lost of words. And now, I only have a picture of my kids my mind. I can feel the trauma of the mother who has missing their kids. The scary to hear every single news everyday, and the hope to see their kids back.

Nobody knows…only Allah knows the answer.

I dedicated this old song to all missing children. My heart will always be with YOU

Kau Pergi Jua
by Adam Ahmad

Wajahmu
Seindah serinya pelangi yang indah

Seharum mawar putih segar berkembang

Wajahmu

Mengapa sering terbayang dimataku

Sehingga terbawa didalam mimpiku

Sayangku

Tahukah kau didalam hatiku ini

Tersimpan perasaan cinta nan suci

Kau bunga

Ingin kusuntingmu menjadi milikku

Lantas kuabadikan dalam jiwaku

Sayangnya

Harapan yang selama ini kubawa

Hancur berkecai musnah jua akhirnya

Semuanya bagaikan sebuah mimpi

Kau pergi jua

Setelah cinta ku kini membara

Belum sempat kucurahkan kasihku

Kau pergi tak kembali…

To Nurin, no matter how, my pray is always be with you.

To the little girl. Child, May you rest in peace. My prayers are with you. I am so sorry that you have to endure all those pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you

Ramadhan

2007-09-12T12:45:00.000+08:00

Salam Ramadan

Semoga amalan kita diberkati di bulan yang mulia ini...

Boring night

2007-09-10T14:12:00.000+08:00

Dun know what to write...

But dis week seems to be a boring week. Last night my mother came to my place and bring my kids ( and maid ) to kampung for 1 week. They will be back only on dis saturday...lamanye...

And last night when they were gone to kampung at 8 p.m, I was just alone at home since hubby were were still working. He only came back at 12 a.m. So I got nothing to do...watching Tv alone...and I dun even had my dinner cause I feel lazy to cook. And when my hubby back from work, I definitely told him that I was starving...but yet he was just asked me to fry an egg..too bad..

Being alone at home seems to be a nightmare...my house become so quite...and I dun even know what to do... it was just a few hours, but I already feel "missing". Suddenly when I saw thier toys in thier favorite basket, I felt so sad. And I cried...OMG...it's just for a week la...huhuhu...

When kakak is not around I thought that I would feel free to watch TV peacefully. If not I will definitely 'berebut' on the tv channel since for all dis while the tv has been terrorized by kakak with her fav cartoon and astro ceria channel. But still, I feel like a statue in front of the TV. Nothing seems to be so interesting.

P/s: I miss my daughter...:(

U wanna play? Let's play the game..

2007-09-07T15:34:00.000+08:00

Only me knows the situation. I dun know either it is suitable to drag the issue here or not. Maybe he or she might read this blog too.

I thot of giving a lesson to that person. But who am I ?? , I am not perfect too, but the way he or she claimed that I am not enough stable compared to him or her, make me feel …..errrkk.

To me, It is better to live happily with my very beloved hubby and daughters. I have everything, my life peaceful. I have a very understanding hubby, he always there for me. I have very cute and smart kids. They give me strength every time they smile. What else? At least I never burden anyone. At least I dun have a chronic problems pertaining a financial issues and asking money from someone else just because you wants to show off, eventho it’s your family members and you will completely headache of paying all back the money.

I dun mind to anybody who wants to share their advice, thought or what ever they feel right. They are most welcomed. But in terms of comment me on why am I until now still cant afford to buy a ‘land’, or maybe an asset for my future with a very sarcastic word, might irritate or insult me indirectly…

Mind your word.

To that ‘person’, believe me, I’m not afraid of losing you.

Discontented

2007-08-29T17:29:00.000+08:00

Why am I blogging..?

It is because I think that sometimes it‘s good to express our feelings through the writings. I wonder is that true or not. But I am not denying that I love to write, even now , I am about to complete my first novel, but unfortunately I dun have any contacts who wants to produce my manuskrip. Pity me…but I am so thankful to my hubby, he is such a wonderful guy who promised to help me find any producer to produce my first baby. As a media person, he seems to know a lot of people. Thank you ayang..

Talking about media person, as I see my hubby doing well in his carrier now, and he is so impressed to do his work. Eventhough sometimes he seems to complain that he got to do this and that, but I ‘m happy to see him happy doing his work.

He is a producer and being in production line sometimes make him sacrifice a lot and their life will not as same as other ordinary people. Sometimes his working time is not as same as me, as he had to stay until 3.00 a.m, just to do his editing, got to entertain his client , mix around with so many people, and got to know with all kind of people.

That is so interesting. I was so eager to hear his stories every time he come back home…as it will remind me of my previous time when I was in broadcasting line.

I am not denying too, that I feel so jealous , as if that I want to be like him.

I still remember. I used to do my practical in TV3. I was assigned in Magazine department at Nona and MHI desk. At that particular time, I need to cover a fashion show that was held in Palace of the Golden Horses. But I dun remember, who organized that event. At first I was shocked. In fact I can’t believe that I can get that big event cause it consider my first assignment. It was such a big event and presented by so many vips. How could a practical student like me can handle this assignment.

I wonder why, and I asked my producer kak Hartina, and she just giving a scope while the rest of the whole stories will be mine. O my God. But I was eager at the same time. So I prepared the storyline, conduct interview, assign my production crew and direct the whole team.

And I did it!

My producer quite impressed as that was my first assignment. The very first time I got to face a “big” event at my early age at that time.

That was fun.

I really missed the broadcasting line.

But I’m not regret of what I’ve got now. It just that I do think that I dun get enough satisfaction. I’m not saying that working as a journalist is just for unmarried person. Only the culture of work sometimes makes me think twice. Since I have my only priority, I would feel that my quality time is just for my daughters. that is more important.

And now being in a corporate world make me think again and again and again....I admit that this is my choice, as I got some space for my family. They need me too. The whole family ( especially my mom ) aspect me to be a person who can spend much time with my kids. Even my mother aspect me to be a teacher. A teacher? Hahaha...... but am I happy? I am not. And sometimes I dun know what I really want. Actually I have the answer. But it is too complicated to pour everything here. I would rather keep it as my own secret.

Sometimes i feel unfair. This is not ME.

But I can’t turn back the time

Help

2007-08-23T15:16:00.000+08:00

One word...Depressed...Help me.

12 years before...

2007-08-08T17:43:00.000+08:00

I really missed my school time memories....I got this from one of my x class mate’s page , Vivian. Really touched when I saw this photo…..

Deadlock

2007-08-03T10:09:00.000+08:00

I got a conjuctivities, I got 2 days mc…but today, my eyes getting better so I decided to come to the office. Pity my kids: kakak and adik has been infectious with conjunctivities too. Kakak was worst…she has been infected with both eyes, while adik only her left side eyes…it was so painful…and kakak and adik also had a fever.

Lately so many things happened, as I have a problem with my maid…she insist to buat hal so many times, and sometimes I can’t stand her anymore....but I only think of my kids….it is too many things to recover…I also have to sit a PTD exam…..but since I have not make any preparations, so maybe it will just a “ visit” to the exam hall…I can’t think very well and lately there’s so many things inside my head.

My husband quite buzy too, as he has a new agenda which I think most of the time he might just think of his new office. Eventho I give a full support with his new spirit, and our business now expand very well, but I was worried if he decided to quit his job now. He is too eager to develop the company….and since we already got another contract with Sepang F1 circuit, he’s become really commited to the job. Alhamdulillah…..

I always think that Allah is always FAIR…He will give us trials cos one day He wanted to bestow us goodness. INSYAALLAH

Yezzaa!!!

2007-07-26T16:42:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah.....It's just like a dream come true…we finally managed everything accordingly…and it is a time for the launching…this is our "baby"…hopefully everything goes well as what expected to be.

It's true...me and my hubby intend to have our own business...it's for our future...it's for our next generation...We planned for more than 2 years to set up our own baby…after the hardship and so many obstacles, cooping with the funder and everything, we tried the best to get it launch. And now we are about to enter our first step.

Luckily, we are in the same line, so it is easy for us to get along in this showbiz. So let’s just see ….our next agenda would be an event with our famous national equestrian Mohd. Qabil Ambak B. Dato' Mahamad Fathil Mahmood who will be rental our fully MCP equipment for their next home event that will be take place at Bukit Kiara.

Hopefully everything goes well.

p/s ; To ayang...let's take it as our challenge..this is dedicated to our dearest daughters...let's be together...and i'm here for you anytime...anywhere...

bOMb D hEad Plzzzz

2007-07-20T16:47:00.000+08:00

F***ing Komuter

Dis week seems to be the worst and the most hectic days. Starting on Monday, I had to face the stupid KTM komuter services delayed for about 1 hour. Can u imagine? I reached the platform at 6.15 pm and expected to be on board the tren at 6.24 p.m as scheduled on the fucking board. But unfortunately, there was an announcement that all komuter service to seremban will having a technical problem from what ever station which I cant remember and will be only reach the platform in another 1 hour. Oh shit !

That means I will only get the tren by another one hour ; means at 7.30 ++ p.m ??? Damn..I text my hubby ask him to come and fetch me a lil bit late since the KTM was delayed. Okay, fine.....I just waited there with all the crowds seems to be so frustrated and some were just leaved. But I cant!! That is the only way for me to get home.....finally, I managed to reach home only at 10.00 pm....Gosh.

I was so tired....not because of what.....but it was just because of the people congested, tired of standing all the way for 1 and a half hours and tired of waiting ….pity my kids…they dun have enough time for me…so I frequently spend my quality time only on weekend. I'll ensure that I have enough time for them, bring them out for dinner and sometimes enjoy the moment playing around and do the lawak bodoh just to make them laugh. I feel chocked every time I reach home late and I dun have much time to talk and listen to their stories.

That was one issue and I know the issue will not resolved if the Ministry of Transportation which is led by Dato sri Chan Kong Choy wouldn’t do anything. So just let it be...

But to me that is the dilemma I have to face in becoming a carrier mother. I always put a word in my mind that not only me having this kinda difficulties, but I’m sure lots of other mom out there will having this crucial too. What to do…

Something that I dun wants to share with…

I am still looking for something inside me. I'm hardly find what I truly want. I just cant predict it in a word....as there is so many inside my head. If I get a chance I would list down all the desire that sometimes is so hard to spit out. Maybe I cant write it down here…as I know it is too personal to well-defined. If u dun know me, I am a very secretive person. Even my husband would never know everything in me. He only can read the surface of what ever he can predict to, but he never knows the details.

It takes time maybe…

Weekend comes again...i hardly cant wait to lay down with my 2 princess on bed, hear thier storie and to enjoy the purity of the faces.

Chiow

nObOdy kNowS

2007-07-10T14:37:00.000+08:00

An alien conversation

XXX : This is for the first and the last time and I dun want it to be happened again

BBB : But this is not my controlled

XXX : I dun care

BBB : You should’nt say that. I dun want to take others fault

XXX : You shud handle it. It’s your level of controlled

BBB : Okay, okay…( sigh ) …let me check again

XXX : No you shud have it done now. is this your first time handling all this stuff.
You shud know all the mechanism

BBB : I know, but this thing was not my fault..okay…let it be clear here…
let me handle this …

XXX : …… do what ever you can

conversation end....

back to normal again...

at the same time, still digging into the deepest side of the heart...

tried to find the answer...

tried to memorize it...

and...

the answer are still the same...

it wont reflects anything..anyone..anybody...

and again...

i hate myself for being ME

Once Upon a Time

2007-07-03T17:09:00.000+08:00

Hari ini dalam sejarah...21 dis 2002...once in a life...

Kakak and Adik

2007-07-03T15:22:00.000+08:00

Last night I had a long conversation with my daughter Myza. I used to call her “kakak”. Kakak is such a “mulut murai”....every night before she got asleep, she will talk and talk and talk…..most of her stories were basically of what she did all the day from morning till evening. And sometimes she was very excited telling me ( for so many times ) her favorite TV channels which is Ceria and Disney channel. The programs are totally for kids. So what to do....I just listen.... She is very eager to go to school now. But I told her that, next year she will start schooling. I'm afraid she will get bored if she starts now...

Same goes with Arissa. I used to call her " adik ". She is much different from her kakak. She's more rugged, tougher and ganas. Compared to kakak; more feminine, more fragile, sensitive and very soft. But she is more stubborn than her adik. Eventhough adik is such a tough girl, but she has a kind hearted..! Believe me, if they got fight, adik will be more mengalah than kakak…terbalik plak…

Time had passed so fast and I dun even realized that they grew so fast. I can even hear their stories now..!!!! What a wonderful life. Nothing more precious when every night I can hear the words ...I love u ibu...before they sleep.

I am so thankful to Allah that I had wonderful kids. I love them so much.

........

2007-06-25T13:22:00.000+08:00

I HATE MONDAY!!!!!

Friday

2007-06-22T13:55:00.000+08:00

Thank God it's Friday again...why do I llike Friday? or maybe not just me..everyone will love Friday...

The main reason:

1) Friday is exactly the finale of working days...yehaaaa

2) We have a long lunch hour break...estimated time about 3 hrs..so boleh gi cuci mata kalau rajin

3) Time goes so fast..only on Friday

4) Normally boss will not around..hahahaha

5) The next day which is Saturday is a holiday...and Sunday as well

There's so much of fun on Friday and of course Friday is also called as "Penghulu segala hari" in Islam.

But one thing that I hate Friday is the "extra" crowds of people especially at KTM, Putra, Star and other public transport. so there will be an "extra journey" as you may have to face the delayed time of Komuter schedule. *sigh

That's why when friday comes , I usually ensure that I will get off sharp at 6.00 o'clock.

Me again....

2007-06-19T16:03:00.000+08:00

Not feeling very well lately..Last Tuesday i was on medical leave becoz of fever, then start from Saturday night until last night i can still feel the heat on my body...got to see the doctor again..maybe got to check my blood...takut denggi plak...mintak di jauhkan...

As for today I am still feel not fully recovered from my fever..it was on and off, and most of the time my body getting heat at night..dun know la..dah tua tua bangka macam ni, kan...

I'm still in the office, just had some discussion with my Boss regarding my meeting at Maxis tomorrow....again...I have to go to Menara Maxis to meet Collin. He is the person incharge of our new project. Thank God, Collin such a nice and good looking guy...and it is easy to liaise with him.....takde la aku bosan ngadap muka die esok..hahahahah

O btw, i've just received a call from my hubby, he said he 'll be in KL this evening to meet his partner and to discuss about his new event...whatever..!!!that was such a bad news to me, cause that means I have to take cab to go back home from the KTM. Arhgggg!!!!

Ok, got to continue my work..oh before that, got to get a cup of nescaffe before i get sleepy...

Langit Petang

2007-06-14T14:48:00.000+08:00

Part 05

Petang itu aku sengaja pulang awal dari pejabat. Setelah singgah di Hypermarket, aku bergegas pulang untuk memasak. Malam ini aku mahu membuat surprise untuk Sham. Sengaja aku tidak memberitahu Sham yang aku akan pulang ke rumah hari ini. Lantaran itu, aku berhasrat untuk memasak juadah istimewa. Ikan tenggiri masak lemak cili api, ayam masak masam manis, sayur kailan ikan masin dan telur dadar sudah pasti membuat Sham terliur. Segala ramuan telah di sediakan dan aku merancang untuk menyediakannya sebelum ketibaan Sham dari pejabat.

Seperti di rancang Sham pulang kerumah pada jam 8 malam. Terkejut bukan kepalang dia apabila melihat kami sudah berada di rumah. Hampir hendak menitis air mataku melihat gelagat Sham tidak putus putus mencium anakku Alif dan mengukir senyuman lebar. Aku juga gembira, hampir seminggu aku tidak bertemu Sham, rindunya bukan kepalang.

Selepas solat aghrib kami menjamu juadah makan malam. Suasana begitu kecoh lebih lebih lagi dengan rengekan Alif yang sudah seminggu rindukan papanya. Ada sahaja olah yang dibuat nya. Namun, Sham nampaknya sangat gembira dengan kepulangan kami. Terasa kebahagian milik kami. Tuhan, tolonglah, jangan pisahkan kami...

Hampir berjam lamanya aku berbual dengan Sham sambil menonton televisyen. Hampir tidak sedar, Alif sudah pun lena di pangkuanku. Banyak cerita yang di kongsi bersama. Maklumlah, walaupun seminggu berjauhan, kami jarang berhubung, hanya sms yang menjadi tali pengikat.

" Abang minta maaf, jika Lin terasa hati dengan tindakan emak.."

" Tidak bang, jangan la abang nak minta maaf pulak..Lin tak salah kan abang, emak pun tidak.."

" Ya Allah Lin, begini punya hebat dugaan pun, Lin tetap tabah. Kalau isteri lain, pasti sudah mengamuk agaknya..terima kasih Lin sebab memahami"

" Sudahla abang, jangan lah di ingat lagi. Emak ada hak menyuarakan pandangan serta pendapat. Emak orang tua. Lin anggap emak macam emak kandung Lin. Emak lah yang membesarkan abang, emak jugalah yang melahirkan suami Lin. Banyak sungguh jasa emak kepada kita abang....Lin tahu, jika Allah panjang kan jodoh kita, maka jodoh kita akan panjang. "

" Ya Allah Lin...abang ...abang..."

" Jangan cakap apa apa abang. Terus lah kita mendoakan kebahagiaan emak...mulai saat ini Lin nak buat permintaan pulak"

" Apadia?"

" seeloknya kita balik menjenguk emak setiap bulan. Biarlah sementara emak ada, kita membahagiakan hati emak. Begitu juga dangan Mummy. Tak salah kan abang? "
Serentak itu anak mata Sham merenung tepat ke anak mataku. Entah apa yang di renungkan, aku tidak pasti. Namun, aku melihat matanya mula berkaca, menahan air mata yang tidak kunjung tiba. Sham menyentuh jari jemariku lalu di kucupnya mesra. Serentak itu juga ada air mata jatuh berguguran di jemariku. Sham sebak, lalu menangis sambil mengucup lembut jemariku.

Aku merenung mata Sham. Ada segelumit kesal di hatiku kerana meninggalkan Sham beberapa hari yang lepas, meragui cintanya kepadaku dan mengesyaki kasih sayangnya. Lin minta maaf abang... Lin minta maaf. Berkali kali juga Sham memohon maaf dariku. Berkali juga aku menyatakan yang dia tidak bersalah. Aku juga tidak menyalahkan emak, aku menganggap emak hanya sekadar orang tua yang perlu aku hormati, bukan untuk ku dendami. Orang tua perlu di belai, di pujuk dan di manja. Mereka sangat sensitif dan ku akui walaupun emak agak membenciku, aku akan cuba untuk menngambil hatinya kembali. Itu janjiku.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suasana hening, diselangi dengan bunyi unggas yang sangat mendamaikan. Suasana nyaman dan ditambah pula dengan bunyi kicauan burung yang sangat menenangkan. Pagi yang sangat indah, tiada hiruk pikuk kenderaan yang sibuk seperti dikota. Segalanya begitu sunyi, tenang dan mendamaikan. Sudah dua hari aku dan Sham serta anakku Alif berada di kampung. Sengaja kami mahu menjenguk emak. Aku juga rindukan suasana kampung begini. Begitu indah dan aman sekali. Terasa sangat keindahan dan kedamaian kampung yang begitu mengasyikkan.

Aku berjalan jalan sekitar laman. Memang rumah emak dipenuhi dengan bermacam jenis bunga. Sebut sahaja bunga apa, semuanya ada. Emak sangat 'hijau tangan'. Apa apa yang di tanam memang menjadi. Kagum aku seketika. Kehijauan laman itu sangat mempesonakanku. Terasa kebesaran Ilahi, mencipta keindahan flora yang sangat berharga.

Aku duduk seketika di pangkin. Tenang sambil menikmati keindahan halaman rumah emak. Aku mencongak congak. Ada bebunga keindahan yang menguntum di hatiku. Cintaku kepda Sham semakin utuh, begitu juga kasih sayang kami. Aku bernekad , untuk menjadi isteri yang solehah.

Emak juga bersetuju untuk tidak lagi memaksa Sham mengahwini Rozita. Sham sudah menerangkan dengan terperinci kepada emak. Aku juga sangat bersyukur, akhirnya emak bersetuju atas cadangan Sham untuk melupakan niat memperisterikan Rozita.Namun aku sedikit ragu. Adakah betul tindakan aku, aku hanya mempertahankan hak sebagai isteri. Namun aku tidak pasti, adakah berdosa atau zalimkah aku yang tidak menyetujui perkahwinan mereka. Sedangkan kalau diikutkan Sham memang mampu. Kusut aku memikirkannya.

Namun aku cuba untuk menjernihkan keadaan. Kepada emak aku panjatkan doa semoga dipanjangkan umur. Aku tidak sesekali mendedami emak, jauh sekali menderhakai emak. Namun aku juga manusia biasa, seorang wanita, seorang isteri yang punya hati dan perasaan. Kehendak aku mungkin di anggap remeh,tetapi terlalu berat untuk ditanggung.

” Tak perlu lah termenung mengingati apa yang dah berlaku Lin...” suara emak sayup sayup di telingaku.

Aku menoleh kearah emak yang berdiri tegak dihadapanku. Emak terpaku disitu, merenung tepat ke anak mataku. Ads sinar yang aku sendiri sukar untuk perjelaskan. Aku sedikit gementar berhadapan dengan emak. Sewajarnya aku berasa agak gusar, takut takut emak masih tidak mahu menerimaku.

Aku membatukan diri sahaja. Senyum yang kulempar terasa benar tawarnya. Entah dari mana datangnya rasa gerak hati, aku terasa seperti emak mahu menyuarakan sesuatu kepadaku. Aku memandang tepat ke wajah emak. Emak masih terpaku, sedikit pun emak tidak berbunyi. Namun aku dapat rasakan getaran di dada emak seperti mahu menjerit menyatakan sesuatu yang aku tidak pasti.

Perlahan emak menghampiri, aku tunduk kebumi. Ya Allah, aku terima segala cemuhan emak jika itu yang ingin di sampaikan kepadaku kini. Aku rela mengabdikan diri kerana emak merupakan ibu kepada suamiku yang satu, yang harus aku hormati. Perlahan juga aku menandang ke arah emak. Redup sinar mata emak sangat mendamaikan.

" Lin minta maaf, mak..kalau Lin..kalau Lin...er...er..." sepantas itu aku melihat ke wajah emak. Mata emak kini berkaca. Aku merenung emak, dengan pandangan seorang anak yang inginkan keampunan dari seorang ibu. Air mata emak mengalir perlahan. Jernih sahaja membasahi pipi emak yang sudah agak lanjut usia itu. Emak menangis.

Ya Allah , apa yang telah berlaku. Apa salah aku...

Seketika itu emak mendakap kemas tubuhku. Tanpa kusedar air mataku gugur ke bumi. Kami sama sama menangis. Ya Allah..terima kasih kerana engkau telah memakbulkan doaku...aku dapat rasakan getaran dada emak yang sudah mula menerimaku..terima kasih Ya Allah..terima kasih...

Sepatah pun emak tidak bersuara, cukup dengan linangan air mata emak memeritahu sejuta makna tersirat. Aku tersenyum sambil air mataku tidak henti lagi mengalir. Inilah hari yang paling istimewa dalam hidupku. Kebenaran telah terbukti bahawa kesabaran menjadi senjata untama dalam menghadapi dugaan.

Langit tidak selalunya cerah. Ada kala ia berarak mendung dan kehidupan hari ini tidak semestinya indah seperti hari hari semalam.

TAMAT

Langit Petang

2007-06-13T16:31:00.000+08:00

Part 04

Seharian aku menangis. Tidak tertahan rasanya air mata ini lalu gugur juga satu persatu. Cadangan emak sungguh tidak masuk akal. Apalah salah dan dosaku. Sungguh aku tidak menyangka. Emak berhasrat untuk menikahkan Sham suamiku dan Rozita , gadis kampug yang juga rakan sepermainan Sham sewaktu kecil dahulu. Sham telah menceritakan satu persatu. Dengan hati yang berdebar debar aku mendengar sebutir sebutir perkataan yang di ontarkan dari bibir Sham. Namun, Sham tidak bersetuju atas cadangan itu. Sham juga telah menjelaskan kepada emak akan keenngganannya itu. Syukur, Sham masih mengingati janji janji kami. Sham tidak mungkin akan berpaling kepadaku. Namun hati manusia siapa yang tahu. Esok lusa entah lain pula.

Aku berserah sahaja kepada Yang Esa. Jika panjang jodoh kami, maka panjanglah ia. Namun sesekali emak tidak pernah menyuruh Sham menceraikan ku.Sekali pun tidak. Emak cuma teringin mahu bermenantukan Rozita dan berbesankan Mak Pesah. Mereka sangat akrab dan hubungan yang terjalin antara kedua keluarga sudah terjalin sekian lama. Oleh itu, emak begitu berhajat mahu bermenantukan Rozita, walaupun sebagai isteri kedua Sham. Isteri kedua Sham? Ahh..agak pelik untuk aku menyebutnya. Bermakna aku akan bermadu dan Sham tentu sekali perlu membahagikan kasih sayangnya antara aku dan Rozita. Kelak, tentu rozita akan melahirkan zuriat Sham, dan Sham bakal memiliki anak dengan wanita itu. Anak? Dengan wanita lain? Dengan maduku? Ahh mana mungkin aku akan terima semua ini semudah itu. Tidak..

” Sudah lah, jangan asyik termenung lagi”

Suara mummy mematikan lamunanku. Aku terkejut lalu cepat cepat aku menyapu air mata yang sudah basah di pipiku. Entah bila pula mummy muncul, sungguh aku tidak perasan.

” takde la my...mana ada. Lin saja je berehat..”

” mummy nampak Lin macam ada masalah , kenapa? Bergaduh dengan Sham?”

” Takde la mummy, Lin Ok. Apa pulak ada masalah..mummy ni ada ada aje..”aku menipu lagi.

Entah kali keberapa aku cuba mengelak daripada menunjukkan wajah sugulku di hadapan mummy. Sudah dua hari juga aku berada di rumah mummy, bersama Alif dan pembantu rumahku. Setelah meminta izin dari Sham, aku bergegas untuk tinggal di rumah mummy. Sengaja ku berikan alasan kerana rindukan mummy dan Alif juga sudah lama tidak menjenguk wannya. Sham setuju dan merelakan aku tinggal di rumah mummy untuk beberapa hari.

Sebenarnya bukan itu alasan utama ku. Aku seperti tidak sanggup untuk mengadap muka Sham selepas apa yang di beritahu tentang cadangan emak tempoh hari. Sejak itu aku mula berasa sedih walaupun Sham berjanji untuk tidak melaksanakan cadangan emak. Namun aku tetap berkecil hati, lantaran ku bawa diri ini jauh untuk seketika.

Sejak aku tiba di sini, mummy seperti sudah mengagak seperti ada yang tidak kena. Puas sudah mummy bertanya, tetapi jawapan ku tetap sama. Aku hanya memberi alasan kepada mummy bahawa aku sengaja mahu berehat dan Alif sudah rindukan wan dan atuknya. Tidak sekali kali aku mahu mendedahkan rahsia rumahtanga ku. Maruah ibu mertua dan suamiku juga harus kujaga. Aku tidak mahu mummy tersalah faham dan bertambah risau akan masalah ku.

" Jangan nak tipu mummy..apa masalahnya ni..?" Mummy bersuara lagi.

" Takde apa apa mummy, Lin ok..mummy jangan risau "

" Atau kamu ada selisih faham dengan mak mertua kamu?"

Berderau darahku seketika. Mummy sudah tahu kah? Siapa beritahu mummy? Sham? Atau Sham sudah membuat keputusan untuk bersetuju atas cadangan emaknya itu, lalu memberitahu mummy ?

" Apa maksud mummy?"

" ialah..kamu kata emak mertua kamu baru sahaja balik ke kampung kan? Bukankah lama juga tinggal di rumah kamu?"

" ohhh...memanglah mummy....tapi Lin dengan mak takde masalah. Kami macam biasa je..tak de masalah la mummy"

" mhmmm...bagusla macamtu..kalau ada masalah dengan mertua, jangan di panjang panjangkan. Tak baik...takpela..biar mummy tengok si Alif tu..entah apa di buatnya"

" ialah mummy, Lin faham " aku menarik nafas lega. Mummy masih tidak mengetahui hal yang sebenar. Kalau mummy tahu, tentu risau bukan kepalang.

Sudah beberapa hari aku mencari ketenangan diri. Hanya kepada Tuhan sahaja tempat aku mengadu, hanya Dia sahaja yang mengetahui apa yang terbuku di hatiku. Kepada Tuhan sahaja aku mengadu, aku berasa tenang begitu. Sejenak itu, telefon bimbit ku berbunyi, menandakan ada mesej masuk.

SMS
From Abang
Salam Lin, how are you? Bila Lin nak balik…abang rindu. Dah dua hari abang bujang, ayik makan nasi bungkus. Malam malam takde bantal peluk. Please sayang, i miss u so much. Kalau pasal emak yang buat Lin merajuk, abang minta maaf bagi pihak emak. Abang janji, abang akan slow talk dengan emak. Insya allah, everything would be fine, darling. Trust me. I love you so much..

Aku tersenyum seketika membaca sms dari Sham itu. Perlahan air mataku gugur lagi. Aku berasa sangat bersyukur punya suami yang bergitu baik dan memahami. Sungguh tidak patut aku membiarkan Sham keseorangan. Timbul kesedaran pula di hati ini, bahawa walau apa apa pun, Sham masih suamiku dan dia masih hak ku. Aku perlu mempertahankannya. Aku tidak perlu terlalu mengikut naluri kesedihan ini. Tidak kemana nanti. Aku mesti bangkit dari permasalahan yang membelenggu benakku ini. Aku perlu kuat dan tabah. Aku mesti lalui dengan hati yang ikhlas.

bersambung

Langit petang

2007-06-07T15:41:00.000+08:00

Part 03

Petang yang hening. Sham, suamiku pulang awal hari ini. Pastinye Sham mahu menemani ibunya yang tiba dari kampung. Seperti biasa aku menyediakan minuman petang. Sementara pembantuku sibuk menggoreng keropok untuk dijadikan hidangan.

Kopi sudah kubancuh, lalu ku bawa ke meja makan untuk di jamu oleh kami sekeluarga. Emak masih lagi di ruang tamu, sedang menonton televisyen, sementara suamiku masih lagi di atas, solat barangkali. Alif seperti biasa leka dengan permainan keretanya.

" Mak, jemput minum mak...ada keropok dan air kopi, marilah mak." Aku mengajak emak yang sedang menonton. Masam sahaja wajah emak dari tadi. Lalu ku berjalan menghampiri emak dan melemparkan senyuman.

" Mari mak, kita minum" pelawaku lagi. Emak masih berdiam.

" Biarlah situ, aku taulah.." ringkas jawapan emak.

" Mak, kalau mak nak, esok Lin ambil cuti, kita pergi jalan jalan. Nak tak mak. Bawa Alif sekali." Aku cuba memulakan perbualan.

Emak masih mendiamkan diri. Matanya begitu asyik di kaca televisyen menonton sinetron Indonesia kegemarannya. Sedaya upaya aku mahu memulakan perbualan, aku mengharapkan emak sudi juga melayaniku. Walaupun kutahu, aku bukanlah menantu pilihan, tetapi apa salahnya jika aku melakukan yang terbaik untuk emak. Sekurang kurangnya aku mencuba.

Namun hampa, emak membatu seriba bahasa. Malah rengekan Alif yang meminta di layan bagaikan suatu yang hingar di telinga emak.

" Kenapa dengan budak ni, tak henti henti melalak."

" Alif bukan apa mak, dia manja sikit. Biasala kan mak, budak budak."

" Yelah tu...jangan di manjakan sangat anak kau ni. Nanti buruk padahnya"

" Tak la sampai begitu mak" Aku melemparkan senyuman.

Sementara Sham suamiku sudah turun lalu terus mendukung anakku Alif. Dibelai dan digeletek nya ketiak Alif sehingga Alif ketawa terkekek kekek. Begitulah Sham, dia memang sangat manjakan Alif. Sehari jika tidak di usik nya pasti ada yang tidak kena. Alif juga sangat rapat dengan papanya. Adakala aku juga sedikit cemburu akan gelagat Alif yang adakala terlalu akrab dengan Sham. Tapi aku tahu, hubungan anak dan ayah memang begitu.

" Kamu ni Sham mak tengok, dah jarang balik ke kampung. Dah tak nak menjenguk mak lagi dah gamaknya" emak memulakan bicara.

" Bukan ke 2 bulan lepas kami baru balik mak. Mak..walaupun jarang balik, Sham selalu telefon mak kan?"

" Mana sama...adik adik kamu tu semua balik jenguk mak tiap tiap bulan. Ini aku pulak yang kena datang rumah kamu. Apa, kamu dah tak sudi nak duduk rumah kayu lagi ke"

" Bukan macam tu mak..saya agak sibuk sikit kebelakangan ni mak.."

" Atau kamu sengaja..”

” mak....jangan cakap macam tu mak.."

" Manalah tau, kamu tu dah malas nak balik kampung. Ialah, apa lah yang seronok sangat duduk di sini. Atau ada sesiapa yang tak bagi kamu balik kampung?"

" siapa pulak yang tak bagi mak...jangan cakap macam ni mak.."

Sham nampak seperti serba salah. Direnungnya aku yang sudah tidak keruan ini. Aku hanya mendiamkan diri. Seperti mendapat gambaran bahawa perbualan emak seperti mahu menyindirku.

Emak masih lagi duduk di sofa. Sementara aku sudah mula bangun dan berlalu ke dapur. Kubiarkan sahaja mereka berbual. Biarlah, tentu Sham dan ibunya banyak cerita yang hendak di bualkan.

" kamu dah fikirkan cadangan aku?"

" mak...Sham minta maaf, tapi Sham tak mampu laksanakan cadangan mak tu"

" kamu memang sudah tidak memikirkan emak agaknya. Dulu kamu tidak pernah membantah, tapi sekarang banyak sangat alasan"

" emak, apa yang mak cadangkan itu sangat berat. Saya tak sanggup. Apa pulak kata Lin"

Aku mendengar dengan jelas perbualan mereka. Bukan niat aku untuk mencuri dengar, tetapi secara kebetulan apabila aku melintasi bilik hadapan yang bertentangan dengan ruang tamu, aku sudah dapat mengankap isi percakapan mereka. Jantungku berdegup kencang. Aku menjadi sedikit panik. Cadangan? Cadangan apa pulak ni.

bersambung

Cerpen

2007-05-09T17:51:00.000+08:00

Langit petang

part 02

Bagai dijanji ibu mertuaku tiba dari kampung petang kelmarin. Masuk hari ini sudah dua hari aku mengambil cuti kecemasan gara gara ada tetamu bertandang. Tidak sedap pula dibiarkan ibu mertuaku sendirian bersama pembantu remah serta anakku sahaja. Lalu ku khabarkan kepada majikanku, Encik Hamid untuk mengambil cuti selama 3 hari. Nasib menyebelahiku, buat masa ini tiada projek penting yang perlu ku awasi, cuti ku diterima. Namun suamiku seperti biasa, jika ibunya bertandang jarang sekali dia mengambil cuti. Sibuk benar dengan urusan pejabat. Aku akui, sebagai pegawai bank, pasti kerjanya bertimbun dan tidak betah pula untuk mengambil cuti kecemasan.

" Kamu ni kalau di rumah anak kamu ni bibik je yang jenguk. Mak tengok si Alif bukan main rapat dengan bibiknya tu. Apa kamu sanggup anak kamu tu asyik di bawah ketiak bibik dia aje?" lancar sahaja kata kata yang terkeluar dari mulut emak. Sambil memandang tepat ke arah ku, aku akui ada kala emak agak keras kata katanya.

" Tak de la mak...kalau balik kerja memang Lin yang uruskan si Alif ni. Cuma bila dia nak main saja dia akan cari bibiknya mak."

" Bukan kah elok kamu berhenti kerja, jaga anak kamu "

" Eh, tak boleh la mak..Lin rasa kalau Lin kerja,dapat tampung keluarga jugak mak"

" Apa yang kau susah. Si Sham tu bukan kah mampu. Kau aje yang gatal agaknya "

Bagai sebutir peluru tembus tepat ke dadaku. Ruang dapur itu kurasakan hangat tiba-tiba. Aku hanya mendiamkan diri.. Tidak mahu aku di katakan menderhaka kepada orang tua. Mungkin emak berniat baik, mahukan rumahtangga kami lebih sempurna. Namun ada kala ia seperti tidak logik. Aku disuruhnya berhenti kerja? Bukankah lebih elok jika pendapatan keluarga di lipat gandakan sekiranya aku bekerja.

" Tak perlulah kamu masak. Biar mak aje yang masak. Kamu kalau masak memang kembang tekak aku "

Emak pantas merampas pisau dari tanganku dan terus memotong sayur. Hendak tak hendak aku terpaksa merelakan. Memang sudah kebiasaan begitu, emak tidak pernah suka masakanku. Katanya aku anak orang bandar, tidak pandai hal dapur, tidak pandai masak. Ya, memang aku akui dahulunya aku tidak betah dengan kerja kerja dapur. Namun, setelah bernikah dengan Sham, aku merasakan ia menjadi tanggungjawabku untuk melakukan tugas itu. Sham sendiri sehingga hari ini memuji masakanku. Katanya aku sudah improve. Sudah boleh buka kedai makan. Entah omong kosong atau pujian yang ikhlas yang diberikan oleh Sham itu tidak pula kuketahui. Namun yang pasti suamiku sudah menerima air tanganku. Itu sudah cukup.

" Kalau si Sham kahwin dengan Rozita anak Pak Seman tu, pastinya si Rozita itu akan lekat di tumah, masak, mengemas, jaga anak sendiri. Tidak lah harapkan orang asing. Ini tidak, sudah lah anak dijaga orang asing, seluar dalam suami pun orang lain basuhkan. " emak menambah lagi.

Aku hanya tercegat di tepi sinki dapur sambil tanganku pantas membasuh pinggan yang ada. Namun telingaku cukup tajam menangkap setiap patah kata yang keluar dari mulut emak. Memang sejak dahulu lagi emak tidak begitu merestui hubungan kami. Sebetulnya emak sudah berkenan dengan anak Pak Seman, jiran di kampung sebelahnya. Gadis yang mempunyai nama Rozita itu katanya memiliki ciri ciri wanita ketimuran sejati. Pandai memasak dan mengemas. Namun, Sham tetap memilihku atas dasar cinta.

Aku masih ingat lagi. Pada hari persandinganku yang diadakan di rumah kedua orang tuaku, emak hadir bagai terpaksa. Tiada langsung senyum yang terukir di bibir emak. Masam mencuka wajahnya seperti ada yang tiak kena. Mulai dari saat itu aku sudah mula mengagak. Pasti ada sesuatu yang tidak kena. Namun aku diamkan sahaja. Kusangkakan emak akan berubah setelah mendapat tahu aku mengandung. Zuriatku ini merupakan cucu pertamanya.

Pasti seorang ibu kepinginkan cucu yang lahir dari zuriatnya jugak. Aku sangkakan itu bakal mengubah pendirian emak. Tetapi sayang, emak masih tidak berubah. Malah anakku Alif Naufal itu jugak tidak mendapat layanan yang seperti mana seorang nenek melayan cucunya. Emak terlalu dingin dengan Alif. Ada ketika aku berasa sebak melihat Alif yang tiak mendapat kasih sayang dari neneknya sendiri.

Bagai hilang kata-kata, aku hanya mampu membatukan diri. Tiada daya untuk aku melawan kata – kata emak. Sudahnya aku yang makan hati. Kutahan sahaja air mata yang hampir hendak berlinangan. Aku tidak mahu emak nampak akan perubahan air muka ku. Sementara itu, emak masih lagi sibuk memotong sayur. Sesekali Alif muncul di dapur kerana inginkan aku menemaninya. Rengekan Alif jugak merimaskan emak. Sudahnya Alif juga seperti takut dengan neneknya sendiri.

" Anak kamu ni asyik buat onar aje. Entah ikut siapa la agaknya. Keturunan aku tak ada pun yang nakal begini." tempik emak tatkala Alif sudah mula menangis.

Cepat cepat aku mendapak dan mendukung Alif lalu kupujuk dan bawa ke ruang tamu. Alif pasti sudah lapar. Aku segera membacuh susu Alif. Tanpa kusedar, air mataku jatuh juga.

bersambung

@ Hakcipta terpelihara by ainamyza

Cerpen

2007-05-09T16:13:00.000+08:00

Langit Petang

Part 01

Perkenalan singkat itu sangat bermakna. Ia terus membunga dan berkembang, lalu akhirnya kami diijab kabulkan dengan suasana yang meriah. Maklumlah aku merupakan anak bongsu dalam keluarga. Semestinya mommy dan daddy mengimpikan perkahwinan anak bongsunya yang satu ini berjalan dengan lancar. Lancar selancarnya. Kami sangat bahagia dan bertambah serinya apabila dikurniakan seorang cahaya mata , Alif Naufal. Kini Alif sudah masuk 3 tahun. Mulut pun semakin petah berbicara. Ligatnya pun bukan kepalang, kadang kadang tak larat rasanya apabila seharian bersama Alif.

Tapi tidak mengapa, dia lah yang menyinari hidupku. Tanpa Alif aku rasakan dunia ini kosong. Tiada tujuan dan aku sanggup bertukar nyawa sekalipun. Maha suci Tuhan, Alif bagaikan pelengkap sinar rumahtangga ku. Matanya yang bundar itu seakan memberitahuku agar aku terus tabah menghadapi hari hari mendatang. Sinar mata dan gelak tawanya itu sesekali ku jadikan azimat agar aku sentiasa bersyukur atas pemberian Tuhan.

” Menung apa tu? Ingat boyfriend yer??” Terpacul kata kata itu dari bibir suamiku, Sham. Lamunanku terhenti seketika. Bila masa pulak munculnya dia?

” Tak ada apa apa la bang..abang dah makan? Nanti i siapkan kalau belum makan. Kita makan sama..”

Perlahan suamiku menghampiri. Tubuhnya yang sasa dan dadanya yang bidang di rapatkan ke tubuhku. Terasa bahangnya. Perlahan dia menanggalkan tali leher, terus merangkul pinggangku kemas. Aku seakan lemas namun kurelakan sahaja.

” Jom kita mandi sekali..nak tak?” seakan berbisik suara itu. Lembut tetapi mesejnya sampai dengan tepat.

Aku hanya tersenyum. Entah apa mimpinya hendak mengajak aku beromantis pulak petang petang begini. Sambil tersenyum lagi Sham menarik lenganku. Aku megikut sahaja. Sham memang begitu. Tindak tanduknya ada kala di luar jangkaan ku. Ada sahaja kejutan yang dilakukannya. Itulah kelebihannya. Sham juga pandai membaca gerak hatiku. Jika ada yang tidak kena, tentu dia pantas mahu mengorek rahsia. Tiba – tiba kedengaran telefon bimbitnya berdering. Siapa pulak?

” Hello..ya walaikumsalam mak..aha..sihat..oh yeke? Aha..ok takpe, nanti Sham beritahu Lin..ok..walaikumsalam” panggilan dimatikan. Sepantas itu Sham melepaskan tangannya.

” Mak nak datang minggu ni.”

Aku dah agak. Pasti itulah yang bakal kudengar. Hatiku secara tiba tiba jadi tak sedap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ........ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bersambung

@ Hakcipta terpelihara by ainamyza

Thursday blues...

2007-05-03T10:30:00.000+08:00

Baru masuk ofis lepas cuti lama...feel bored coz need to refresh my mind....here are updates on my daughter Myza, buzy drawing her cartoon.

Hadapi Dengan Senyuman

2007-04-25T15:31:00.000+08:00

Hadapi dengan senyuman
Semua yang terjadi
Biar terjadi….
Hadapi dengan tenang jiwa
Semua... kan baik baik saja

Bila ketetapan tuhan
Sudah ditetapkan
Tetaplah sudah….

Tak ada yang bisa merubah
Dan takkan bisa berubah

Reff

Relakanlah saja ini
Bahwa semua yang terbaik
Terbaik untuk kita semua
Menyerahlah untuk menang

by: Dewa

p/s : Aku dalam dilema

Please don't judge me

2007-04-24T16:22:00.000+08:00

I received a call from someone who asking me if I were interested to join her in one business. Not a big one, a small ones. Actually she is one of my relatives. I just cant promise her anything yet cause it may take some times for me to think about it. So I purposely told her that maybe that was not the right time yet. There’s a lot of things to be consider and it is not as easy as ABC.

She was a bit upset with my decision. She kept telling me that I was not thinking of my future. At first I was a bit surprise as she keeps telling me that. That was not the first time. It was the third time as she were about to ask me to be her partner. And again, she said that maybe I cant consider my decision since I didn’t see the opportunity in that business. She said, maybe I should join govt, and telling me that I was just waiting for a miracle.

" you may not as lucky as what u think.." that was what she told me.

Hey, who are you to judge me? Who are you to tell me that I was not as lucky as what I think? Who are you to say that you are the luckiest person ? who are you to be the judge? …….

Don’t be too arrogant if you think you have everything. You may lost "it" if "it" is not belongs to you. Remember, life is not as what you think.

What a silly.

I was a bit emo at first. But I tried to calm down and told her that I don’t need her bloody thought.

I take it as a challenge. To me, we may don’t know what will happen in the future. And I dun need those stupid double faces who come and bother my life. WTF.

.....

me : got no lost

TGIF

2007-04-20T15:58:00.000+08:00

Today is Friday..as ususal..I extremely waiting for Friday. Starting from Monday ( which I hate Monday! ), I will counting to Friday…cause it is the end of a hectic days….at last!…Actually I haven’t got any plan yet for this coming weekend..but suddenly my mom called me and suggests to bring along my kids to hometown….probably they will overnight and will send them back only on Sunday evening…hmmm…I was thinking too….as I never been far away from my kids…eventho there will be no problem at all, cause I will “export” my maid too…well, maybe it’s a good idea…and maybe me n hubby can be bujang sementara…hehe…so we will make an appointment to date…..hahaha

Tense

2007-04-19T13:31:00.000+08:00

I wish I could have a lots of money. Oh..no, not just lots, but loooottttttssss of money I mean. So that I can buy anything I want in this whole world. Tell me how....how can I settled my hutang piutang….sometimes it makes me think….and thot of doing something new in my life….but what? I have no idea yet.…everything is just so messy....it will end up with nothing.....here and there…..at last, my life become complicated ..…but it doesn’t make sense if I take 1 year leave….ko gila? ....I can’t even stop working too.....if not how am I gonna pay the f****** bills?.....yah, bills…car installment, my study loan, credit card, my shopping expenses…aiyoo.....

I need a break

BELASUNGKAWA

2007-04-19T11:10:00.000+08:00

I just got a bad news from my colleague , Zabil. His father had passed away last night at 11.30 pm after met an accident a few days before.

Al fatihah.....

P/s : Hanya Dari Allah Kita Datang, Kepada Allah Juga Kita Kembali

....

2007-04-17T17:25:00.000+08:00

TIRED…TIRED…TIRED..TIRED..TIRED....Of being nice to people who never understand me......Full Stop

Weekend

2007-04-17T10:05:00.000+08:00

When you were away for on leave, then make sure u have enough “brain” when you come back to the office coz there are loads of “deserts” coming for you to digest. Hehe..got what I mean? Nevamine..

Last weekend I had a fun time with my family..we actually plan to go for holiday in PD but last minute cancelled and we decided to go to Genting since there is lots of fun activities for kids in Genting. The kids were so excited and we overnight at First World coz it was so convenience as we just can walk down to the Indoor Park. I was so eager too, coz at least I can run away from my stressful office matters. hehe... Lets check out these photos..
More photos on my Fotopages, kay!

By the way, on Saturday pulak, I went to my cousin's ( Alin ) engagement. It was took place at her father's house in Rawang. Actually her father and mother has been separated since she was 5 years old and all this while she stayed with her mother, my aunty la..i called her Acik. I've been so closed with Alin since she was my only cousin yang satu kepala. Acik is just like my second mother as she was the ones who baby sit me since I was 3 years old. At that time, my parents quite busy with their work and i've been pampered with Acik. Me and alin did a lots of things together and we were just like sisters.

So, this is her time to settle down. I always pray for the best and hope that she will happy forever.

Yeay!!

2007-04-11T12:16:00.000+08:00

It’s time to relaxxx..!!! I will be away for on leave by Thursday and Friday. Yeay!! Loads of activities coming up and I am very eager and cant wait to have a very long holiday..heheh..In the meantime, I am now in the process of making sedulang hantaran for my cousin’s engagement. I will definitely contributing my creativity in d making of hantaran for her. Saje suka suka nak sponsore satu dulang since she is one of my closed cousins ever (my father’s side), so I would like to share this happy moments with her too. Esok nanti die kahwin aku dtg makan je la…heheheh…

People, I am happy today cause at last she deserves to get her “long version” partner since she is well known for a title of very..very fussy in a relationship. But this guy , I mean her future fiancé is just a simple guy and I am here approved and pray for her happiness moments with him. Insya Allah. Wait for my coming entry, I will update on her engagement ceremony soon!

Karma

2007-04-06T10:42:00.000+08:00

Everyone has it's own history, stories and maybe good or bad. Do you believe in karma?

Karma is a sum of all that an individual has done is currently doing and will do. Karma is not about retribution or vengeance, karma simply deals with what is.

The effects of all deeds actively create past, present and future experiences. So, if you did something bad before, you deserves to get the “rewards” one day. , the effects maybe seen immediately or delay..

It is not a punishment actually, I dun really agreed with the word of punishment but we may say it as the actions and the effects of the actions. If you do good things, good things will come to you, BUT if you do bad things, then, bad things will come to you. Something bad has been done before and now you should have it back!. You see, it is not to say that every one deserves to have it, it is just a symbolic of behaviors and you may take it as your bad luck cause you deserves it!! I don’t know, maybe it is true.

I personally agreed of the perception of Karma. It makes me realizes that we were born to be what we intend to be, we personally create the colors of our life. Perhaps, we may take it as the guidance because being involved with karma is an unavoidable part of daily living.

p/s : We may not get everything we want, we have to face it, sometimes, "it" is not belongs to us, "it" is belongs to others.

Recall

2007-04-03T11:46:00.000+08:00

I just got back to Office..was on medical leave on Monday…migraine..headache..stressed..semua jadi satu..

Loads of work waiting…checked outlook..33 emails waiting to open..??

Wow! ..1 day mc = 33 emails, 7 days = ?.....mati la mak..

Take a deep breathe before recalling all my tasks. New projects coming as I need to monitor for a new Portal for our big Telco.

Had a simple breakfast today, just a simple tuna bread..Enaugh.

Okay, I think that’s all for now. daaa…

Bosan

2007-03-19T15:01:00.000+08:00

Pernah tak korang terasa tiba tiba je bosan? Tanpa sebab musabab yang ada logika, tetiba je rasa bosan..pernah tak?

Macam tu lah yang aku rasa skang..

Tetiba je aku rasa BOSAN!!!!

BOSAN!!!! Tolong!!!!

Kisah Myza

2007-03-16T16:39:00.000+08:00

As usual, I was sooo bz with office matters, loads of work and sometimes I do think of myself......."bila lah aku nak bukak company sdr nih..?" . Tu bila time aku tgh stress la, and it will automatically came out in my mind. To me no matter how stressful you are but when you were at home, at least you can see your lovely kids smiling and laughing by the time you were about to enter your home.

Time tu la akan rasa betapa rindu dan kasihnya aku kepada dorang. Sometimes aku rasa tersangat kesian melihat anak anakku yang di tinggalkan seharian dari pagi sampai ke malam baru nampak muka..so sad bila setiap kali balik baru dekat gate nih, they all dah melompat sakan dah..so eager ni ibu dia dah balik..so sad..time tu la aku rasa nak nangis. Tapi memanangkan yang aku ni tak mampu lagi nak menghandle kan business ( konon nak setup business) so aku gagahi jugak la. Nak wat camana..

Anyway, i’m so lucky jugak coz i have an understanding hubby who will always beside me. Even when I stress sesangat and normally I will push my sour face and yet hubby will always know what action should be taken in order to handle me..( cam bagus je ek )..so, thanks ayang for your patient!! but I’m not a bullies okay,, aku cuma mengamuk sikit sikit je la.

Ok, enaf about my bad habbit tuh…

Now I want to highlight a little bit bout Myza..anak dara aku sorang nih. She is 3 ++ now, but I notice that she is quite emphasized in everything that she heard and she knows. Nampak dah ada peningkatan dari aspek pemikiran die la and dia dah pandai merajuk atau jauh hati kalau ada yang tak kena.

It surprises me!!! Macam ada sekali tu, dia teringin sangat nak makan ais krim , but die baru je elok dr batuk so aku tak kasi la. Aku kan agak strict kan so, kalau ada yang aku tak kasi tu maknanye she never get it la…full stop. And yet she dah mula macam merajuk sakan nih..diam je sepanjang masa. Kalau dulu dia akan lupa apa yang dia mintak selepas kita get her attention with other things. Asyik la tengok kartun atau cicak man kegemaran dia tu. So aku pelik la, sebab normally she will enjoy main all her toys and buat bising sampai satu lorong leh dengar kan.

Then I thought of asking her why she was so upset. Belum sempat aku tanya lagi, she started to cry..( sambil tengok kartun nih )..alahai anak…aku dapat rasa la dia merajuk sbb aku tak beli ais krim tu, tapi tak pernah lak aku tengok dia merajuk sampai gitu sekali. Aduhh....camana nak cakap konsep tak bleh makan aiskrim sebab nanti dia akan batuk nih. So puas aku pikir and lastly aku bagi gak la..sebab kesian sangat nengok dia camtuh. Tak sampai ati lak aku and aku kata

" ni last , no more , okay ? " she agreed.

Aduhai…aku jadik lemah la pulak ngan air mata dia tuh. Tak sampai hati tengok dia kempunan nanti. Korang kalau dah ada anak nanti mesti akan rasa camtu jugak punya. Don’t blame me okay..it’s true, you will feel something was not right if you make her cry and sad. You will feel sad too and you will take it as your responsibility to make her smile again. Same to Ain jugak..but dia still tak paham sangat lagi, tak macam kakak dia la..

So malam tu bila aku tengok dia tengah tidur dengan lenanya, aku jadi amat kesal sebab kadang kadang aku agak berkeras dengan dia. Ialah, aku kan ibu yang garang..heheh…she is too small to understand and sometimes it makes me think of some formula on how to tell her that sometimes she may not get everything that she wants. Oh no..now I know, it’s not easy to become a good mother. To become a mother tu maybe semua orang boleh but it is not easy to dig out the things inside her to be compared with us yang dah tua bangka nih.

It’s not easy, people. Not easy at all. And aku dapat rasakan yang dia dah mula faham kalau aku kata macam ni, dia kena tau sebab apa aku kata macam tu. Tapi still macam susah la nak buat dia faham that kekadang setiap kali kalau aku nak pegi kerja, she will begging me untuk cuti. Sampai sebak sebak suara suh aku cuti. So i have to tell her that we have a responsiblity and that is for her goods jugak la kan. Yet, I don't how to explain, and everytime she asked me about that, i will tell lies that macam macam alasan berbentuk tak masuk akal akan aku bagitau dia, aku akan kata..."bos ibu suruh jugak, kalau tak dia marah lah", atau aku kata "esok ibu cuti, esok kita jalan" , padahal esok aku kerja lagi...hmm u know , things like that la...yang kekadang setiap kali dalam tren on my way to office i will always hear her voice telling that she needs me at home.

Alahai...

Determination of life

2007-03-09T16:18:00.000+08:00

What can we determined of life? Fair or unfair?

To me life is just like a wheel. Sometimes we are at the top and sometimes we are down.

Is my life complete? Hmmm….complete in my own way, I mean I do have everything now, I have a great husband who can be my hubby, a friend to chat, a victims when I am depressed. I have my cute little kids , they are my life and I can’t ever life without them. I have my own carrier, even though being in a corporate world is actually not my dreams, I wish I could be someone in a broadcasting field, coz I dreamed of being like Wan Zaleha Radzi. Damn, she is my idols. I like to be like her, she is full with confidence, beautiful, talented, sexy in her own style and she has her own charisma, I could say, she is damn good.!

But, unfortunately I can say that it is just my dreams….hmm..can I consider it as failed? Failed to become what I intend to be. Am I?

Or can I consider it as faith. So is my life complete now?

What a stupid question

I'm 29 today!! dammit!

2007-03-06T17:40:00.000+08:00

Im 29 today!!!believe it or not. Well, age is just a number..so I will still keep young inside..hehehe tua sgt ke 29???

Anyway, for this new year of 29 I have a few wishes which I consider my coming goals…

1. To become a good muslimah
2. To become a good wife, a good mother and daughter
3. To become a businesswoman
4. Get a new car
5. To practice healthy lifestyle. More on gym activities
6. To keep and tighten my relationship with all my good friends
7. To invest in property
8. Get myself pregnant. Maybe to get a baby boy!

Hopefully my dreams will come true. and I would like to thank to all of my friends, colleagues, not forgotten my brother for the great wishes. luv it!!!

Kids activities..

2007-03-05T12:09:00.000+08:00

Weekend. Busy with kids, playing around with Myza and Ain, watch dvd mostly cartoons and Cicak Man which is myza’s favorite now. Asyik tengok tu je…naik muak aku.

Hubby was not around, busy again with his business matter.. so I am the ones who took over all the tasks of bibik which is spent time with my kids. Playing all kinds of toys, get my kids outing to the mall, sleeping all the way from afternoon to the evening, not much cooking activities cause hubby was not around so I cooked as simple as goreng goreng stuffs.

That's all for now. No mood to talk now. tata.

Meeting ..Eating..

2007-03-02T17:39:00.001+08:00

We had a presentation meeting for our own products today. It was took place at my boss’s place and we gathered at office first before moved and convoy to Boss’s place. Hmm..i could say it was a santai meeting where we have our own product presentation and at the same time we were fed with a lovely movely food prepared by my boss’s wife. How kind and we enjoyed ourselves eating first coz I dun think we can concentrate on our jobs if the stomach was empty. Hik. Again, we had a cit cat first before entered a serious talk on our meeting. Hmm.. I can suggest to my bos, next time we will have a barbeque meeting and enjoyed ourselves with fun activities.

End of meeting about 4 o’clock, and then we went back to office with stomach FULL. Get back to office with my eyes focusing on my laptops again and restructure for the next coming products to be delivered to my boss soon.

Ok, let me have a deep breathe first now before i cramped out my head with my coming tasks.

Tentang aku lagi...

2007-02-12T10:16:00.000+08:00

Hi there!

Today I would like to share with you some part of "me" which I consider it seems to be my habbit. I think some of us may have a certain behaviour which we can predict it as "kebiasaan". So do I.

Kebiasaan yang pada awalnya merupakan suatu perkara remeh dan akhirnya menjadi sebati. hmmm...strange kan? Antara kebiasaan-kebiasaan aku ialah:

1. Kalau makan roti, mesti akan tinggalkan sedikit atau secubit di hujung bucu roti. Bukan nak membazir tapi entahla, dah biasa katanya.

2. Bila mandi, aku tak akan terus mandi sebaliknye termenung dulu. Aku juga mengambil masa yang agak lama berada di dalam bilik air. haha

3. Mesti mengambil sarapan pagi, kalau tak, boleh pengsan.

4. Kalau keluar walau ke kedai kejap pun, aku mesti mengenakan maskara, tak boleh tidak.

5. Kalau tengok TV, aku mesti berbaring.

6. Sangat teruja bila menonton pertunjukan Fashion catwalk. Terus terberangan.

7. Oh ya, sebenarnya aku adalah manusia yang sgt suka berangan.

8. Sangat tidak suka menyidai baju..sangat tidak suka. Jadi kerja itu telah aku serahkan kepada maid aku yang setia.

9. Kalau weekend pun aku akan bangun awal dan terus mandi. Aku paling tak suka mandi lambat.

10. Suka tidur sambil menutup muka dengan bantal ( tapi tak la sampai lemas ye..).

11. Akan mengambil masa yang lama untuk make-up.

12. Mengambil masa yang lama untuk memilih baju untuk ke pejabat.

13. Suka bawa kereta laju. Sangat suka dengan aktiviti lumba kereta dan terlalu meminati aktiviti go-kart.

14. Kalau minum aku hanya menggunakan gelas atau mug yang sama je.

15. Aku memang suka tidur siang.

14. Kalau kat rumah masa cuti, aku lebih suka tengok tv daripada keluar.

15. Sangat suka makan kerepek, keropok, coklat dan segala makanan ringan.

16. Hobi aku ialah memasak, tetapi aku sangat malas untuk menyediakan kelengkapan memasak seperti menumbuk bawang, cili etc. So selalunye tugas itu aku berikan kepada maid aku dan bila semua dah beres baru aku masak.

17. Suka kumpul perfume. Kadang kadang , perfume tak habis lagi aku dah beli yang baru.

18. Takut tengok cerita hantu, sampai termimpi mimpi.

19. Aku memang fail dalam aktiviti packing barang, especially kalau nak pegi vacation. Memang tak reti nak pack barang, mesti terlebih baju la, terkurangla. So selalunye husband yang uruskan.

20. Kalau baca paper atau majalah, aku suka baca atau selak page by page dari belakang.

21. Aku ni jenis cepat nangis. Kalau tengok drama atau muvi sedih ke, atau baca apa apa buku atau bahan bacaan yang menyentuh perasaan, aku mmg akan meleleh bagai nak rak punya.

22. Kalau stress, aku lebih suka drive ke mana mana alone.

24. Aku juga pantang tengok cadar. Aku memang hantu cadar.

25. Kalau shopping, aku akan amik masa yang lama untuk memilih. So normally my husband mmg malas nak teman.

26. Suka mengusik anak aku sampai nangis..hehe...jahat ke aku? haha..

Hmmm...I think that's all for now. And some part of my bad attitude seem to be unchanged eventho I tried to change it. Nevamind, as long as I'm happy, and there's nothing wrong, rite?

Tata..

Kejam

2007-02-06T09:54:00.000+08:00

Sila klik dibawah untuk mengetahui berita selanjutnya.. Kisah pembuangan bayi yang sangat sangat menayat hati.

http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/content.asp?y=2007&dt=0206&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Dalam_Negeri&pg=dn_01.htm

Sedih.....

Kejam....

Jahat....

Apa lagi perkataan yang mampu di labelkan pada orang yang berhati binatang seperti ini? Sebaik sahaja terbaca berita ini, tiba - tiba tanpa aku sedar air mata aku berlinangan. Aku tak sedar aku sampai menangis membaca berita sekejam ini. mungikin hati nurani keibuan ku yang membuat kan hati ku sebak , sedih, pilu , marah bila membaca berita sebegini. kejamnye manusia yang melakukan perkara terkutuk ini. kejamnya. Patutnye manusia sebegini patut dijunamkan ke dalam gaung atau jerutkan sahaja lehernye ke tali gantung. Biar dia rasa penderitaan yang dialami.

Apakah salah dan dosa bayi ini? Die terlalu kecil, terlalu comel untuk dikhianati. Terlalu merah untuk disakiti. Apa salah dia andai dia di anggap membebankan, tetapi adakah wajar ia dilakukan sebegitu?

Aku tak faham ada juga orang berhati syaitan yang sanggup melakukan kerja gila ini. Aku ak faham, bukankah kita akan teruja apabila melihat tubuh kecil yang comel itu didakapan. Banyak betul kes kes macam ni yang kita dengar sekarang. Nyawa bagai tidak ternilai harganya. Tiada langsung kompromi akan nilai sebuah nyawa. Murah sungguh!

Aku masih sebak lagi, aku tak sanggup menapati gambarnya lama lama. Tak sanggup aku. Betul aku tak sanggup, malah makin mencurah curah air mata aku ni bila terus membaca.

Apa yang aku harapkan, orang yang sanggup melakukan kerja gila ini akan cepat ditangkap. Tak kira la bayi tu anak cina ke melayu ke, die tetap seorang bayi. Lihatlah tubuh kecil itu, terlalu comel, terlalu kesian aku melihatnya.

p/s : Duhai anak anak yang tidak berdosa, bersemadilah ....berehatlah disyurga, pasti kau kan bahagia disana....

My Best Friend's Wedding

2007-02-02T15:42:00.000+08:00

This is my all time favourite movie. I know, this is an old muvi, but today when I was at home for Hari Wilayah public holiday, I watched it again. I never felt bored eventho I’ve watched this movie for so many times. It’s so special to me. And I really like the soundtrack especially: Say a Little Pray For You – Diana King, Wishin and Hopin – AniDifranco, You Don’t Know Me – Jaan Arden, I’ll be OK – Amanda Marshall etc.

Aku paling suka sekali yang masa dorang nyanyi Say A Little Pray For You tu ramai-ramai. Memang best. Most of the actor and actress were so good especially Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Cameron Diaz and Rupert Everett. Cameron diaz looked sooo damn sweet in this movie and this movie reminds me of a true friendship and the power of a true love. It makes me realized that if we love someone, sometimes we need to show off our feelings to him indirectly. Of course sometimes we feel shy and we just can be his secret admirer but really, sometimes we have to show it.

This movie is another one of my legend movie and until today I still keep the soundtrack. Mungkin ada agenda tersembunyi di sebalik My best friend's wedding.....mmm..., who knows.

P/s : Time has changed, but the memories are still fresh. Don't ask me when it can faded but show me how to erase it..

Nobody knows

2007-01-30T15:31:00.000+08:00

Sometimes we need to be strong. There is something in my mind that can’t be figure out by words either. I know it’s hard and it’s even harder if I let it be and gone by the wind. I am not strong enaf to face it. I need someone to talk someone to help someone to solve it. But it is not easy. In fact, nobody can help me either and they are just can be the listener. It’s hard to say and it’s harder for me to take it. It is not easy, not easy at all

No matter what, life has to go on. Sometimes I do think of my past, what if I didn’t do that, and I turned to do this. What it would be. What if I never think of that and I just go on with this. What is the impact? Well, it’s even complicated if I think that …no, it shouldn’t be like this, it should be like that. I t doesn’t suit to be like that, it has to be like this. Gosh!!! It takes things not easy for me to be a part of the crisis. I can’t even understand sometimes, why must I feel this and why should I can’t think well. More tragically if sometimes I wonder, why I am supposed to be like this and pretend to be good enough if I really can’t take it at all. I know, it is not easy, not easy..not easy at all…

But thank God I still have strength when I see the two pretty faces smiling and laughing when I really down. Thank God cause you gave me the two little angels for me to survive. Thank God!!!

Headache!!!!!

2007-01-26T10:14:00.000+08:00

On Wednesday, when I was in the tren to the office, I can feel something was not right with my head. My headache getting worst and worst this whole week and sometimes I can't even open my eyes. My head was so heavy like I carrying batu besar yang teramat sakitnye..adeehhh..so when I enter the office, quite ok sikit cause pagi lagi so macam sejuk gitu. But when it came to afternoon, I can see twinkle 2 little star over my head and I can see a lots of birds fly through my eyes..plus my head was so heavy like a big big batu ada atas kepala. Argghh !!! I was thinking like if I could have bed , this was the right time for me to ...tido..and I can’t even focus to my notebook..damn!! and my eyes became so so so heavy and about to close and at the same time I can see double at all over the places.

So I decided to take half day and shoot to my panel clinic. As usual the Dr. will check my blood preisure..and as usual..

" Your preisure is ok, normal and I rasa u have to take a long leave for a vacation.”

Ha…tu dia…itu Dr yg kata tu…so adakah bermakna yg aku perlu mengambil cuti panjang untuk bercuti?

“ U ni stress and terlalu banyak berfikir agaknye..take a rest la..”

“ Baiklah Dr..saya mmg nak gi bercuti “

In fact, I feel so released when I was told by the doctor that my blood preisure was normal. If not I have to take care of my diet and maybe since I have a history in high blood preisure during my first pregnancy, so I can feel the pain of having high blood. Teruk nye sampai sekarang aku dapat rasa betapa sakitnye bile darah naik. Rasa loya nak muntah and I can't even walk cause i lost my stability.

So i came back from the clinic and reached home by 3.30 pm.
apa lagi, terus makan ubat dan tido...my kids pulak time tu jugak nak ajak main la apala..dah la aku sakit kepala bagai nak pecah nih, dorang lagi mau suruh aku main masak masak..adeehhh..sorry la anak anak ku , ibu tak larat sangat. So at last I gave them my make -up set ( ini yang stok murahan lama punya dan yang dah abih ), and I let them play make - up, so they enjoyed apply make-up to each other. So aku pun tutup curtain dan terus kebobommm..!!

Don't Speak

2007-01-17T11:46:00.000+08:00

by : No Doubt

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though
you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

CHORUS:
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

CHORUS

It's all ending,
I gotta to stop pretending
who we are

You and me
I can see us dying...are we?

CHORUS Return

p/s : This is my favourite song. Eventhough this is quite an old songs, but I do like the lyrics so much. I can feel it and I can feel the tears of being sooo hurt..This song used to be my legend song. Related to some bad stories and some history of my secret sad moment.

Hello 2007

2007-01-16T10:25:00.000+08:00

I've been so buzy lately, until I was not so eager to update this blog..pheww..

Anyway, there's nothing important or special that I wanted to highlight. Well, ting tong ting tong we are now have just enter a new year..2007. sekejap je kan..dah tahun baru. heheheh

So for this year, as usual la semua orang ada azam baru kan, ( azam thn lepas pun tak settle lagi nih..), I wanted a few things to be done smoothly through out this whole year. Selain daripada menyambung semula semua azam thn lepas yang terbengkalai, i need to refresh a new resolution in order to encourage myself to be prepared at all time. Insyaalah.....

That's all for now...

P's: aku rasa aku telah diserang satu penyakit. Penyakit yang agak kronik..penyakit malas nak update ...hahaha

Mr Tan Sam Guan...

2006-12-13T16:52:00.000+08:00

He used to be my add maths teacher when I was in form 5 ( Sekolah Aminuddin Baki).

I remember at that time where he used to be the fussiest teacher and I was soooooo scared of him ( serius beb!really!!). Besides, I really hate maths, I hate that subject very much and I don't really care of that subject, hihi. I got this picture thru my friend Intan ( thanks but no thanks, Intan! Heheh) and honestly, even though time has passed by and we never meet each other anymore, I still feel the scary of his face looking at me and kecut perut as I still can hear the Doraemon sound of him yelling out my name!( o btw, his voice memang sebijon macam Doraemon, okay..)! I remember at one time he asked me to stand out side the classroom as I failed to answer one of his question.

But anyway, he is damn good teacher . He is very talented, very genius and so kind. I wonder where is he now….well, I don’t think he still remember me since I am not his favorite student…..haha

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AMYZA HANI & AIN ARISSA ........11 DISEMBER 2006

2006-12-13T12:44:00.000+08:00

where's my candle?

their favourite food...yummy!

Happy birthday to you..happy birthday to you…happy birthday to Myza n Ain, Happy Birthday to you!!

Myza is 3 and Ain is 2 years old now. Even though I was not feeling well on that day, but I managed to buy a chocolate cake and prepare some food for them. Since they like spaghetti very much, so I cooked spaghetti bolognes, mushroom soup and wheat potato. They were so excited and eager to blew the candles. So I called out my neighbourhood kids to enjoy the food. Licin you…!!hahahaha

p/s : Ibu will always love u and be a good girl, okay!!

p/s : They were born on 11 Disember, same date ( thn je lain ), they are just like twins, so lots of people do ask me on how to bajet the timing…hehehe..and my answer is.....

Biarlah rahsia…:)

Secebis Harapan

2006-12-08T16:23:00.000+08:00

Tika keheningan aku bagai dibuai

Dinginnya malam yang panjang

Tika kegelapan sayu unggas berdendang

Mengubat hati yang rawan

Bagaikan dinginnya malam yang suram

Begitulah diriku diibaratkan

Dalam kesamaran ku rempuhi ranjau

Biarpun payah ku teruskan

Siapa memandang tidakkan ku hirau

Biarpun pedih ku tahankan

Jamahlah bintang

Beri daku sinaran

Semoga hati ku cekal

Akan ku teruskan walau harus ditelan

Seribu nista di tangan

Terbanglah hai unggas bebas di awan

Agar kan tercapai sinar gemerlapan

Tuhan ku inginkan secebis harapan

Hanya padamu ku serahkan

Apakah kan ada ketulusan jiwaYang menilai ku seadanya

Tuhan ku inginkan secebis harapan

Hanya padamu ku serahkan

Tuhan ku inginkan secebis harapan

Ku pasrah padamu Tuhan

Tuhan......

My lil princess

2006-12-06T12:10:00.000+08:00

******Ain Arissa Amran & Amyza Hani Amran*******
with lots of love and hug from ibu...

Happy Birthday Papa!!!

2006-12-04T17:41:00.000+08:00

Please forgive me Papa....I almost forget that your birthday is on the 1 st Disember. Ampun kan anakanda ...ampunkan anakanda...!!

arggghhh..I was too bz until I forgot one of the most important date in my life. Thank God my brother reminds me. Anyway, I called Papa to wish Happy Birthday eventhough he don't mind that I almost forget about the date. Well, as usual he said .."ala..papa dah tua.."no matter what, u r still my papa and eventhough u are kinda serious man, but you are still my Papa!

I've promised to give him a present, ( see, present pun aku blum beli lagi...damn! ). But i promised to him, that he will get something special for his birthday ( eventhough aku tak pikir lagi nak beli apa ..).

Well, Papa, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS LUV YOU.

Confused..

2006-12-04T15:25:00.000+08:00

I got confused sometimes. Am I chose the right choice?. There’s one thing that I still owed for myself. I intend to further my MBA. But until now, the dream has not come true yet. Well, maybe I don’t have enough time for that. Plus I might consider my quality time with my kids. They are still small and they need more attention from me. If I decided to further my studies now, at least every Saturday and Sunday I have to attend my lecture from early morning until late evening. The quality time I usually spend for my kids. Oh God, help me to decide the best thing for myself. But one day I do motivate myself that I will definately ensure my dreams will come true.

M.I.A

2006-11-22T10:06:00.000+08:00

I received a sms from one of my friend. It’s a simple message but full with questions.

“ boyfriend aku hilang…dah 2 minggu, tak dapat dikesan, kereta je ada tapi die takde. Aku dah repot polis..tolonglah..aku buntu”

Errrr….I was shock at first. Nowadays we heard a lot of bad stories highlighted in newspaper. Everything could be possible, I don’t know how to explain as I don’t know what actually happened between her and d boyfriend. I just can tell her to be more patient and at the same time try to ask from his family members. This situation reminds me of my past, as my boyfriend suddenly missing without any news. I know how she feels right now, it seems that she don’t know how to react. I used to feel the same before. It hurts but still I can manage myself and thank God I didn’t do anything stupid.

P/s : Elly, be strong and let’s just be positive and life has to go on

My Myza wanted to buy me a jeans..

2006-11-21T15:27:00.000+08:00

Myza suddenly told me that one day, she wants to find a job to help me…Whoooa……bercita cita tinggi ke anak aku nih…heheh..

Myza : Ibu, nanti Myza nak keje la ibu, macam ayah , macam ibu,

Ibu : Sayang kecik lagi, buat apa nak keje ?

Myza : Oklah..nanti Myza besar nak keje nak tolong ibu..

Ibu : Oh..so sweet…myza nak tolong ibu apa?

Myza : Nanti tak payah ibu beli Myza aiskrim, Myza beli sendiri. Nanti Myza nak belikan ibu suar jen ( jeans la tuh..)

That’s my Myza, she is full with imagination, stories, dreams and many more. My whole days at work sometimes made me think of her and also Ain. My only 2 and half hours at home ( after work ) is so precious …Every time I reach home, they will jump happily and so eager to see me and hubby. They will shout and the expression of their face is just so adorable.

Myza…Ain… you are my sun shine, my strength, my whole life and my inspiration.

My great weekend

2006-11-21T12:31:00.000+08:00

Last weekend, I had a hectic day. On Saturday noon, me, Faeez ( my bro ) and my 2 kids went to Ampang Sport Planet ( tempat shooting Gol n Gincu tu..) to watch my hubby’s futsal tournament. My hubby went earlier as he had to do the preparation before the game started. We went there around 2.30 p.m, but once I reached there I find that my hubby’s team dah kalah ….too bad coz it was too late to watch the game. Actually I wanted to come early in the morning, but suddenly Ain was not feeling well and she had over slept after lalok with the cough dose all the way …heheheh..pity her.

So at last we only watched other games which are not related to my hubby’s team. Tak best lah..coz tak dpt tengok aksi hubby I yg pancit tu..hahahaha..

Myza and Ain ( walaupun demam nih ) had a wonderful time. They played around and suddenly Myza had entered an empty court and wanted to play football too. Aduhhh….mesti tak nak keluar dr court nih…So I asked hubby to rent 1 court and the funniest thing was only them and my brother Faeez were in the court. I just saw from the outside la..walaupun dlm hati ni ada hati nak join ni..tp control macho la kan….

They had a good time and really enjoyed it. We spent about 2 hours there and around 4.30 p.m, we leaved.

On Sunday, I went to Intan’s open house. Intan was my good friend since I was in secondary school. This was my first time being at Intan’s new place. Wow..it was such a big and nice house…and the open house was out of my expectation, I thought it was just a small occasion but suddenly with a big khemah bagai…my God, memang vass la…

So I met Sham, Aida, and one Chinese guy ( aisey, suddenly I forgot his name ), who used to be my ex classmates during school days. We had a great time and the food were nice…satay, nasi beriani, kuew teow…and mee bandung..hmmmm..yummy….We spent time about 2 hours at Intan’s place. Eat and eat and termasulah upacara gossip menggosip..hehehe

It such a long time we had not spend time together, me, Aida and Intan. Aida is one of my best friend too and people always labeled us as 3 stooges coz we were almost together for all the time during the school days ( termasuklah ke toilet ). The relationship between me and Aida were still fresh even though we had our new world and we are now just waiting for Intan’s wedding as me and Aida had entered the marriage world in advance…heheheh..hmmm…bila lah tu agaknye .

After got tired and full stomach at Intan’s, we went back home to my parent’s house in Ampang to prepare for our next "journey" to my own place at Seremban. Pheww…nasib baik ada maid, kalau tak pengsan aku….

When I reached Ampang, my kids were so exhausted as Myza and Ain were not feeling well too, they started to meragam la..apa lagi. Thank God they got asleep and finally I had some time to prepare my stuff and packed everything to go back Seremban la pulak.

I finally reached my place by 10.00 p.m. Ialah, plus dinner dulu at my parent’s house, nanti senang balik terus tido je…hehehe …strategi namanye tu..

I just don't know......

2006-11-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

What would you do if you can’t change a certain part of your life?

mhmmmm.....

errrrr....

I don’t how to explain, I don’t know how to react, I don’t know how to tell, I don't know what to think, I JUST DON’T KNOW…….

Oh God, please give me strength to accept the things that I can’t change.

About me?

2006-11-17T09:26:00.000+08:00

- Never expected to become a mother at the age of 25..but alhamdulillah…
I can managed well
- My life is my kids, Myza n Ain , they are my shine, my gold, my love,
my care, my heart, my pillow, my everything
- Sometimes I sleep with my mom...hehehe
- I like to window shop and my favorite mall is One Utama
- Tom yam is my favorite food
- I am very strict to my kids and also to my hubby
- I don’t like dirty, I always wants everything to look clean and beautiful
- I am very simple, jeans and tshirt is enough
- Still watching Doraemen and Sin chan
- Reading is my hobby and also…sleep
- I like to see a pretty lady, her eyes, lips, hair, pants..everything
about the prettiest.
- My mood is unpredictable, sometimes I can be over happy without
any reason, moody and feel sad towards a simple thing

Myza n school

2006-11-16T10:44:00.000+08:00

Time is so fast. I am about to enter a new era of my life. Now I know the process of being a mother. I am about to survey a kindergarten for my kids. Whoaaa…it’s a great experience that I have to search for a good school , coz my kid is only 4 years old. But I decided to let her mix around with friends rather than just stay at home with her bibik without any activity.

So, I decided to register at one kindergarten nearby my house. Of course I need to find the place which has an extra service: transportation. Since me and my hubby will have no time to send and fetch her, we tried to find a school that provide the transportation services. I don’t mind to pay xtra, as long as my kid will have a safe journey.

I started to convince Myza that one day she will no longer stay home playing with adik, but she has to go to school. At first she got shocked when the first time I brought her to the school. Nothing much of her reaction. Well, okay la..coz she asked me to send her again ..just to play the jongkang jongkit..hahaha…whatever…

i don’t know how is her reaction on the first day school. But for sure, I have to consider my cuti with hubby for the first or second week of school. Habisla…mesti kena stay kat sekolah tu tunggu..hehehe

Well, I think this is the beginning of my life in order to face the growing of my kids. It’s only the first start and there will be more and more and more..so, let’s just wait n see…hehehe..

Raya 2006

2006-11-15T12:26:00.000+08:00

I think it’s still not too late for me to wish Selamat Hari Raya to all my friends and who ever who knows me..(walaupun ni dah penghujung raya…hahaha). This year was a great raya to me because I had a wonderful time with my family at Kg Kuala Pilah. Me and my hubby decided to went back earlier which is 2 days before Raya coz I had to help my mother for Bakar lemang preparation the day before Raya. Wow, it was my second time experiencing in “bakar lemang” plus a hot weather and puasa pulak tu kan..But fortunately, I have a great uwan or granny who became the facilitator. So we decided to follow the instruction of the boss la..kalau tidak, tak menjadi pulak lemang.

So for the first day of raya, as usual, we woke up early to perform Solat Raya then went back home for “upacara bermaaf-maafan”.. The whole day of first raya, we only stay home waiting for a guess. A lot of relatives usually came to my grandmother’s house on the first day raya, and then on the second day of Raya, we started to visit their house.

Well, I had a wonderful time this year, eat..eat..eat..and eat. And of course, next year wouldl be different, it will be my hubby’s turn in Kelantan. It will be different culture, food, mood and environment and definitely no rendang, no ketupat, no nasi impit and you will see a lot of nasi dagang, nasi kerabu, nasi tomato, and more to rice menu.....So, Okay from now,till we meet again…..

What do you want in your life?

2006-11-15T12:02:00.000+08:00

I always ask myself, what I want in my life. It is a general question with a subjective answer. Money? Maybe….

What would I do if I lost the ones that I love so much? Errrrr……..( speechless ).::.

Definitely, money still can’t buy the ones that I love…….

My first entry

2006-11-15T11:22:00.000+08:00

Welcome to my first entry…hahaha…why am I so greedy to have so many blogs? Hehehe…. but nevamine, as long as I’ m happy, who cares if I have 10 or 20 or 50 blogs pun kannn? But seriously, this is maybe the platform that I can write and xpress how I feel. Well u know sometimes life is so suck , plus the headache of our daily routine, got to go to work, facing some weird people in tren, then come back home, cook dinner , ..argghhh…ko tak penat ke?. You can’t get a chance to xpress what u feel, something that maybe weird to some people, or maybe this is how i can produce something that people can learn..mana la tau kan, entah-entah ada yg menjadikan pengalaman I sebagai sumber inspirasi..hihihi..just kidding. Okay, let’s be positive and make things simple, so that u can look younger and live happy!!.