The Story Of Me

Feeling great!!!

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 06:24:00 +0000

Myza won for the 3rd place in colouring competition

School holidays!! Ada beberapa hari je lagi sebelum sekolah nak mula cam biasa. Time ni la aku habiskan masa duk KL. Kakak terpaksa la ponteng tuisyen dia, takpelah seminggu je….

Alhamdulillah, tahap mabuk aku pun dah mula habis. Kali ni memang lain macam daripada yang sebelum ni. Tahap mabuk sampai aku tak leh bangun memang sangatlah menyakitkan, sampai aku rasa serik lak sikit. Itu 4 minggu pertama dulu, makan tak boleh, minum tak boleh, tido pun tak boleh. Yang aku boleh buat hanyalah bau vicks ajer. Semua keje umah memang my maid uruskan and hubby pulak macam tau2 je setiap hari beli lauk sebab aku memang tak masak. Nak masuk dapur pun aku tak selera apatah lagi nak masak. Now, Im entering the second trimester which is 15 weeks nak masuk ke 16 weeks. Baru lah ada rasa lega sikit and what the most important thing is I can cook as usual! Time nil ah semua jenis makanan barulah ada selera nak makan, and dis time I can try my new recipe …. Memang rindu sangat nak masak asam pedas which is my hubby’s favorite too. And one day I made my special ikan parang masak asam pedas campur bendi which I missed so much.!!

I went for my first check up last week at Hospital Columbia, Seremban 2. My hubby and the two kids excited terlebih sampai sanggup tunggu lama kat hospital. I appreciate that which at first I told hubby that I can go by myself, but he insisted to come with me. I met Dr. Intan, and she scans the baby. Dun know why, I feel so excited to see the tiny baby moving and kicking. It was the first experience of Myza and Ain to see the baby. They were so excited too and keep asking me to walk slowly…( macam lah takde experience…) as usual the doctor gave the copy of the baby scan and guess what, Myza yang sangat teruja terus keep the copy in her school bag and told me that she wanted to show it off to her atuk and uwan.

She is so happy, and I can see it when she come over to me everytime I watch TV and automatically say Hi to the baby. Sometimes she kissed my stomach and told me to take care of the baby…seems like she understand my situation and keep telling her adik that there will be new adik soon.!!! Im so glad that at least she could understand and hopefully she can help me after the baby born.

Dis time aku rasa sangat teruja and dun know why Im very excited too. I bought all kind of books of pregnancy to get more information. Memang banyak yang aku dah lupa since I’ve been waiting for 5 years. Setiap hari jugak aku akan pastikan aku amik buah as a dessert and a glass of anmum chocolate milk before I go to sleep. And I’ll try my best to complete reciting the whole Quran which I guess it can be the ‘food’ for the baby too.!!!

Cant wait for the next meeting with Dr Intan to see the progress of my tiny ones !!!

New Version

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 02:41:00 +0000

Me and Ain

Myza and Ain dah ready depan pintu

Me and Myza

Time flies so fast...everytime I started to blog, I'll keep on promising myself that I will keep on updating dis blog. But sometimes I failed to do so...for the reason that I had no time to keep dis blog alive. Busy is not only the reason, but that is the only reason I have. Lemme list down what comes across in my mind now..

1. Im happy with my life now.

2. I've finished my course last Disember. Satu kelegaan yang teramat luar biasa!!!!!

3. Ive been posted to somewhere near my place, easy to get reach to

4.I enjoyed myself during long school holidays, went for vacation and spent time with the kids at home.

5. I'm so glad that I can get rid of the office busy and sickening environment. It makes me headache with all the urgent meeting, proposal, bosses, appointment and dateline. Im free now !!!

6. I love with what Im doing now.

7. I can cook, cook, cook and cook more often during weekend. Kitchen in still my best 'corner'. Tried more recipies and i enjoyed doing the cooking. My new menu yesterday was Ayam Panggang with sweet sour sauce. Hubby Loves it so much and promise him to cook more often.

8. Myza and Ain enjoyed their school world now. But sometimes Ain shows her lazy faces when she is not in the mood of going to school. The ayah with his so kind hearted will say " ok, adik demam yer, but tomorrow adik skolah tau, promise!". And it makes me pening lalat everytime I called the maid asking for them and found that Ain is busy with her Tom and Jerry show. Pengsan...

9. My maid has agreed to continue her service. It really makes me feel bettteeeerrrrr....

10. Lastly, im happy with the good news. Myza and Ain will have new adik sooonnnnn!!!!! Mission accomplished!!!!

Till we meet again!!!

Im back to normal!!!

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 08:08:00 +0000

I'm back!!!

It's been a long time I havent update dis blog...obviously I feel weird ..dun know how to start with and what to write on....but, there's so many things in my mind. Thank you to all my friend who keep on texting me, calling and asking why am I so quite all dis while...sorry ....., for some reason that I couldnt answer your calls and unable to reply your messages. It's not that I have forgotten you guys but it's just that I really need a space to cater all things that need me to be focussed on.

I should say thank you to my hubby for giving my "live" again. As before I didnt borther about dis blog, I ignored my trouble tripple broadband problem ( now it's ok oredi)..and I never care bout all those things around me. What I know is ..assignements, assignments, assignments and assignments. Pepole would think that im too serious about my course..but that is just on people's thought. i'll tell bout my activities in my future entry....but now..i feel a lil bit okay..and plus, now i'm having my practicum that required me to go to school everyday..( i like it eventhough my pupils made me crazy sometimes...but still, I can go back at 1 ..that's the most important thing...huhuhu ) and of course .... I'm counting my school holidays soon..hahahah...

However, I still have time to go for my vacations...although it was just a weekend stay, but it was enaugh for me. ( will update my pictures soon!!) .Thank you again to Mr Amran for his understanding about his problematic wife that always borther him at midnight asking him bout a tiny little problem that he should not borther to. But he was still okay, never give up listening to my 'words' every time I feel down.

oh.. I think that's enaugh about Mr Amran huhuh....

Well, my kids are just fine..both are happy staying here with their uwan and atuk. nothing much I can say, they treat my kids more than me...they got super duper first class "treatment" than me...and they became closer to them. This place is heaven to them!!they got everything, just name it!! ( sometimes i think it is not good , but nevermind, it's just for a temporary rite, )

I think that's all for now....I've so many pictures to be update soon...many more stories too!!

see ya!!!!

My NEW world

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 04:27:00 +0000

I am in the library now, try to finish one of my assignment...I just got my new "baby"....my new Maxis wireless broadband...and now it is easier for me to browse the internet. My laptop seems to be my "bestfriend" now..I have to carry dis heavy thing averytime during the lectures coz there are a lots of task that required me to use this thing. A lot of presentation that needs me to use the power point slides. What to do..dis time around I need to find some space to settle all my work. At first, it's quite difficult for me to adapt with all this thing. It's been a while since I leaved my campus life, so it goes back to the square ones. I wish I could go and find some time for shopping during dis weekend...but...U WISH!!

Since I entered IPIK, my life totally different. No more free time, no more relaxing but totally my head was FULL with a lot of things to be done. It is a short course so, definitely I have to follow all the T & Co..( whatever) that stated here..the time table was extremely pack...class will start at 8.00 am and will be end at 4.30 p.m everyday, except for Friday. Friday will be heaven coz it's only a half day class ...but..u think I can go back that early?? U WISH la...there are a lot of activities waiting in the afternoon...have to join all the Gerko activities and badan beruniform....and have to join the camping and Bina Insan Guru soon..haiyya...dis is what the government servant usually do...

At first I felt a bit shocked..I consult with my hubby, dis and that, and he seems like marah me coz I never feel grateful of what I have now. There are thousand of people waiting for the empty place here and yet I was complaining all the time...yeah..he is right la...dis is actually what I want..so I should not be borther with all dis husle thingy and I was afraid that God will not blessing me.

Sometimes I wonder , why we never feel satisfied. Perhaps the quoates manuisa tak pernah merasa puas is correct. It's not that I dun like to be here, but u know, when u got something ( that u maybe wish ) , u still want more and more.... strange la kan. It's including me la...hehehe...so I kept telling myself, maybe this is what God wants me to be. At least I dun need to use the komuter anymore..thank GOD!!

So Long

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 03:36:00 +0000

Dear All

I want to bid farewell to you all and inform you that today is my last day in M__d__e. As I move on, I would like to take a moment to remember and cherish our times together. It's been great interacting and knowing each one of you.

I have enjoyed working for this company and I appreciate having had this wonderful opportunity to work with you all.

With many of you I have shared a unique chemistry which I hope will continue in the years to come even though I shall not be here with the company.

Last but certainly not least, I would like to thank all of you for your many kind words and never-ending support. It was a great journey which I called to be one of the greatest experiences working here.

Thank you again and I do wish the company very success in all it future endeavors.

Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

Regards
aNies

My last email to all my colleagues. As I will be joining a govt sector soon, I really hope that I still have time to update my blog. maybe it is not too often, but I will try to slot in whenever free. Looks like I have to register for Maxis Broadband so that I can bring my wireless with my own laptop wherever I go...hehehehe...good plan.

p/s: It's hard to believe that I will be entering a new episode in my life. I pray day and night and at last God grant me with this terrific moment of time.

Happy Birthday Ayang!!

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 08:33:00 +0000

It's been a long time I haven’t update my blog..lots of work, plus my office has move on to a new office building which is now in UOA, so I have no time to see this blog and plus the internet connection was so bad..( yela..baru pindah kan,,,wiring pun cam tak complete ).

Actually , I have so many things to tell, and so many many things in my mind, its juz that I have a limited time to share with.

But today is my Husband’s birthday. Today is his 33rd birthday. Dis morning before I walked out from the car, I’ve wished him Happy Birthday with one kiss..he juz smiled and knowing that he actually not so bother bout the prezie, I feel a bit guilty for not buy anything yet. Looks like I have to ask him to decide what he wants and we will get it soon or later.

Luckily he is not kind of person who is sensitive about his birthday. Not like me…I always become emo if I know that he’s forgetting my big day.. sungguh tak aci kan??

Well, that’s woman. We really adore someone who always listen and remember our big or special day. Tak gitu?

So, there’s nothing I wanted from him. It’s only his love. Dat’s all.

And one more thing, I’m happy coz at last my dreams come true. I’m glad that my Myza is finally happy with her school. She’s so happy with her friends and Im happy for her too.

One more thing..I have only 1 day before I leave this office and tomorrow will be my last day. Yes, I’m leaving. It is not a crucial decision since I know dis is my choice. I’v made up my mind and God knows what I’m doing. Thanks to Allah, at last my pray and my dream to be in Govt sector has come true.

p/s: Wanna have a celebration with my darling tonite..yehaaaa!!!

My True Love

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 03:22:00 +0000

Today is our day. Today is the 5^th celebration of our anniversary. One kiss is enough to tell him how much I love him dis morning. I whispered to his ears..we were meant to each other, let's be a great lover forever..I want nothing, except his true love. 5 years is not a short period I guess. But I’m proud that we are able to face all the obstacles in our marriage. It is not easy cause I was married at my age of 24 and he was 27. Quite young I guess so. However we never regret that, in fact I feel grateful cause at the age of 25 I already have my first princess. That is the precious prezzie for our first anniversary 4 years ago.

I juz love dis man. He is my husband, my brother, my great friend, my business partner and sometimes he can be my father too. Nothing much I can say to describe my feeling towards him. When I sad, I seek for Allah but he’s the one to be my shoulder to cry. When the time I feel not good, ( cause my mood is always unpredictable), he’s the one who cushion me with his sweet talk., he dun know how to be a poetic lover actually, but he tried so hard to be my great romantic partner. I dun mind and I dun bother. I juz love the way he is, cause I already know from the first time we met that he is a very simple person. But when the times he had to consider being romantic, I can see he struggling very hard to make me happy.

I still remember during my birthday last year. He tried to make a surprise. I know he is not that kind of person. But that short moment of surprise make me cry. As I asked him, why did u do all this? He juz said that he wanted to have something different on my birthday and at that time I was speechless cause before that I’ve scold him for not remembering my birthday. And he juz told me that he never forget my big day. How sweet.

I dun ask much. I juz want to be at his side forever. I juz want him to be the father of my children forever. I juz want him to know that I love him. We appreciate the special 'touch' we have. We appreciate the companionship more. We feel the love deeply in our hearts. We now know that we pledge our marriage in God's name.

What more can I say bout dis man?

He is juz HIM. He is the one who I knew 5 years before.

Thank you Allah for giving HIM as my husband. :)

I know

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:49:00 +0000

I know God loves me, I know God has a better plan for me, I know ....

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 07:35:00 +0000

Wajah-wajah penawar duka

Today is their special day..Amyza is 4 and Ain is 3. As a mother, of course I wanted to see my children grown up well and willing to do anything juz to make them happy. As I woke up this morning, I saw my kids were still sleeping. From their purity faces, it reflects everything to me. Dah besar anak aku dahhh…

Given birth to both of them inspired me a truly experience in my life. I can still remember…looking back to the previous moments, I feel scared. 10 disember 2003 was actually my weekly pregnancy checkup at Pusat Rawatan Islam Jalan Ipoh. Actually my due date was on 25th Disember 2003, but unfortunately, when the doctor checked on my BP, he feels uncomfortable. My BP was higher than normal. And I can still remember that I almost fell down whenever I wanted to stand up. I assume that it was normal cases, but the doctor said it was a bit dangerous as the baby could be drowning. He suggested me to deliver earlier and without any compromise he forced me to be warded. I called up my mother to pack all my stuff and rush to the hospital. My mother was panic at first but I told her that it was just a small matter. At that time I was alone as hubby was still working in Seremban. So I managed everything including matters of ward registration on my own.

I was admitted for one night and the doctor told me that by the next day I have to deliver the baby by induce. 11 Disember 2003, very early in the morning I was ordered by the nurses to be in the labor room. At first, I was a bit scared, my mother and hubby were still not around, as they promised to come at 10 am. I asked the nurse to wait for them for a while, but the nurses refused as they said the doctor has given me a medicine, dun know what medicine is, but it is just to break that air ketuban. So I agreed.

In the labor room, I was induced with 2 pines of water. After 4 hours, I can feel the contraction all over my stomach. Then they add another 1 pine. It was so pain. The contraction become frequent, as I can remember every 5 minutes, and that is a sign that the baby is about to enter the womb top. My hubby was in the room as well, and keeps on asking me to be patient.

The contraction became harder. And all the nurses and doctor were already in the room. It was 6.30 p.m. I can still remember, as this is my first time, so I dun know how to push. Huhuhuhuh. It was a bit suspend as the doctor has gave up. They asked me if I was unable to push, and they wanted to use vacuum.

But I refused. I tried so hard and after 1 hour, the baby came out. The first thing I saw on my baby was the lips. The lip was so red. Like mine..heehehe

And suddenly I cried when the baby was on my chest with blood all over the body. She was so small..Oh my God. What a great experience. And now the baby has turn to 4 years old. Heheheh.

The first experience was a bit hard I can say. It was totally different for the second experience. The experience was like almost the same, but the “journey” was a bit different. It was a same date..11 disember 2004. At that time, we were celebrating Myza year one birthday party at my place in Seremban. But I can feel strange all over my body, as I can feel some contraction in my stomach. I told hubby, and he asked me to go to the clinic. But I juz told him since my due is another 2 weeks time, so I take it easy la.

At that particular day, eventho I can feel contraction starting from morning, but I managed to cook and prepare my main dish for that party celebration. We celebrated the party with my pale face. Strange kan? And because of the spirit to celebrate my first year daughter’s birthday, I keep ignoring all the pain!! terer tu…

After the party over, I can’t stand it anymore. I told hubby, the frequency of the contraction is between 10 minutes each. I was not feeling good; this is not a normal contraction. Hubby rushed me to Pusat Rawatan Islam Senawang and at that time I can’t even walk because of the pain. I was sweating all over the body and all the way to the centre, I was terribly painful.

When I reached there, the doctor told me that my womb has been opened for 5 cm. That means I can deliver in anytime!! I was admitted to the labor room immediately. Everyone was rushing, and the doctor told hubby to pack all my stuffs cause I will deliver in anytime. I was panicked as I saw everybody ( nurses ) rushing everywhere to ensure that everything is completely ready.

O My God

The doctor scolded me for not coming earlier. The baby has a potential to be drown if I was a bit late. As I told her the contraction was not harder until an hour before so I just assume that it was a normal pain. I was admitted to the labor room and at the same time I asked hubby to back home and pack all my stuff.

A few minutes later, about 10 minutes time, I cannot stand anymore. The contraction was harder. I was sweating. I told the doctor..I wanted to push as I can feel the baby is coming out. Yups,. I was correct. With only 15 minutes struggling with the painful, the baby came out. Woohooo….it was so easy. I heard some stories that the second time would be much easier. And I was so relieved cause not until an hour I was in the labor room, the baby was delivered safely. By the time my hubby arrived, he was shocked to see me and the baby were safe. He was like…”eh dah ke? Cepatnye??” hahahaha. Plus, the doctor congratulates me for giving birth in such a short time: in just 20 minutes. Alhamdulillah..

Both different experiences teach me a lot. Even though it is almost 5 years ago, the moment is still fresh. Now I know, it is not easy to be a mother. We are struggling in death and live situation. All husbands should be at their wife’s side to see how pain the wife is.

I love my children very much. They are my life and my spirit. I dun bother anything other than giving the best to them. I’m willing to do anything…just name it.

For this year’s birthday, I dun ask much. It is enough to see them healthy and happy!

Isolated

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 03:41:00 +0000

I dun feel like talking today. I came to the office and I heard the good and bad news. She will be away from me after dis. The good news is, I’m proud of her for getting a better job than current. And the bad news is, I would be lonely and nobody will accompany me for lunch. I feel so sad. I tried to be as usual. Knowing that she only has another 1 month to go before she join the new company, I feel so isolated. I keep telling myself, "dun be like this..dun be like this…it is not the end of the world" and Im tired of giving myself a “strength words” so that I can overcome my sorrow.

I dun feel like doing anything. I keep on looking at my table today: and the laptops with a so many proposals need to be amended and my email has cramp up with so many Urgent flags to be read. But I keep on ignoring those. There’s a lot of task waiting but I was demotivated again.

I keep on motivate myself to be patient. By looking at my kids photo on my table somehow inspired me though. I rang them and by hearing their voice I feel a bit calm.

I know this is not right.

p/s: I need a break

What Kids Say About: Handling Stress

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 08:16:00 +0000

Compared with what adults face, it might seem like kids don't have that much to stress about. But kids have their own concerns - and sometimes feel stress, just as adults do. And kids' stresses can be just as overwhelming, particularly if they don't have effective coping strategies.

I like this article..

What Parents Can Do

You may not be able to prevent your child from feeling frustrated, sad, or angry, but you can provide the tools your child needs to cope with these emotions.

Notice out loud. Tell your child when you notice something he or she might be feeling. ("It seems like you still feel mad about what happened at the playground, huh?") This shouldn't sound like an accusation (as in: "OK, what happened now? Are you still mad about that?") or make a child feel put on the spot. It's just a casual observation that you're interested in hearing more about your child's concern.

Listen to your child. Ask your child to tell you what's wrong. Listen attentively and calmly - with interest, patience, openness, and caring. Avoid any urge to judge, blame, lecture, or tell your child what he or she should have done instead. The idea is to let your child's concerns (and feelings) be heard. Encourage your child to tell the whole story by asking questions like "And then what happened?" and to keep going with "What else happened?" and "ummm-hmmm." Take your time. And let your child take his or her time, too.

Comment briefly on the feelings you think your child was experiencing as you listen to the story. For example, you might say something like: "That must have been upsetting," or "No wonder you felt mad when they wouldn't let you in the game," or "That must have felt unfair to you." Doing this shows that you understand what your child felt, why he or she felt that way, and that you care. Feeling understood and listened to helps your child feel connected to you, and that is especially important in times of stress.

Put a label on it. Many kids do not yet have words for their feelings. If your child seems angry or frustrated, use those feeling words to help your child learn to identify the emotions by name. That will help put feelings into words so they can be expressed and communicated more easily, which helps your child develop emotional awareness - the ability to recognize his or her own emotional states. A child who is able to recognize and identify emotions is less likely to reach the behavioral boiling point where strong emotions get demonstrated through behaviors rather than communicated with words.

Help your child think of things to do. Suggest activities your child can do to feel better now and to solve the problem at hand. Encourage your child to think of a couple of ideas. You can get the brainstorm started if necessary, but don't do all the work. Your child's active participation will build confidence. Support your child's good ideas and add to them as needed. Ask, "How do you think this will work?" Sometimes talking and listening and feeling understood is all that's needed to help a child's frustrations begin to melt away. Other times the thing to do is to change the subject and move on to something more positive and relaxing. Don't give the problem more attention than it deserves.

Just be there. Sometimes kids don't feel like talking about what's bothering them. It's a good idea to respect that, give your child space, and still make it clear that you'll be there when he or she does feel like talking. Even when kids don't feel like talking, they usually don't want parents to leave them alone. You can help your child feel better just by being there - to keep him or her company and spend time together. So if you notice your child seems to be down in the dumps, stressed, or having a bad day - but doesn't feel like talking - initiate something you can do together. Take a walk, watch a movie, shoot some hoops, or bake some cookies. Isn't it nice to know that your presence really counts?

Be patient. As a parent, it hurts to see your child unhappy or worried. But try to resist the urge to fix every problem. Instead, focus on helping your child, slowly but surely, grow into a good problem-solver - a kid who knows how to roll with life's ups and downs, put feelings into words, calm down when needed, and bounce back to try again. Remember that you can't fix everything, and that you won't be there to solve each problem as your child goes through life. But by learning healthy coping strategies, your child can manage whatever stresses come in the future.

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness

P/s: Looks like it is not easy to be a GREAT mother rite..:)

Alert all the time

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 08:07:00 +0000

I was in the office.. I was juz finished talking over the phone with my daughter Myza and Ain. They insist to talk to me longer, however I cant. I told them i'm still working and will meet them when I came back home. Before dat I have just visited Nurin's blog and had read one of the entry which has been posted as REVISITING THE NURIN'S TRAGEDY: A DIAGNOSTIC ANALYSIS REPORT by Munira Mustaffa.

I become the silent reader of Nurin’s blog. I really wanted to know who the evil is. I become emotional every time I think of that. Until now I am so eager and always keep myself updated regarding the case. Arwah Nurin has left us for 100 days..but until now the villain are still free…meaning that we are not safe.

Some people might say dat I was juz too emotional. Even my hubby told me the same. I admit that. Every day when I want to go to the office, I will keep on telling my maid to lock all the doors. I think she might get fed up of me for reminding her same words every day, but I dun care. I told her to keep ignoring every single person who gives salam or what ever. And I always told her that she is not allowed to open the gate and the door must always be lock all the time. And I paste up every emergency numbers beside the house phone as well.

Maybe..I became paranoid. I keep on thinking of my kids at home and I cant stop myself from calling home for more than 4 times a day. It’s juz a few seconds to hear their voice. Dat’s enough. And at the same time I always remind my hubby to keep on eyes of the house when he got a free time. His office is juz a few minutes from my house. So it is easier for him to monitor.

I was juz thinking of my daughter Myza when she starts schooling next year. There is a kindergarten near my house currently and I wanted to send her there. At first I thot of sending her to Smart Reader in Senawang, but that place is quite far. And of course eventho the school is quite near, I still dun trust anybody to send or pick her up from school. Including my maid too. So maybe I decided to ask my hubby to send Myza every day and pick her up when she finished at 12.00 pm. I hardly convince my hubby to take the responsibility. I told him to be alert all the time.

Am I too bad?

Right now I have a single checklist before I enroll Myza to school next year. A few important things that need more attention especially regarding the transportation thing.

This is juz for a start and knowing that Malaysia is not safe like previous years before, it is not impossible if one day I decided to quit my job.

Relieved

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 07:03:00 +0000

Ahhhh…It’s good to be back…I was extremely tired last weekend. I know it is not easy to get what we really want. It was 3 days and 2 nights being in INTAN Wilayah Tengah for my assessment. It is also called PTD Assesment Centre ( PAC ) and dis is the platform where when we already passed the examination, we had to be evaluating during the assessment in mentally and physically aspects. It is not easy, I tell you.

In overall, I might say dat my performance was Ok Ok la…in fact, the module was definitely different from the previous intake. That is no the main problem. But the challenge was when you are not ready with the topic given especially the public speaking session, then you may have a big problem. Alhamdulillah I managed to finish the public speaking and pengucapan awam ( malay ) successfully. Some people who was given a hard topic like Economi had to cramp up their mind with an unpredictable topic given. Some performed well but some were totally lost as they cant figure out the main point to be elaborate.

Everybody seems to look stressed during the assessment. Since INTAN Wilayah Tengah did not provide an accommodation, so I had to drive all the way from Ampang to PJ everyday by 7 a.m and back to home at 11 p.m. We did’nt given much time to seek for the information regarding the public speaking and pengucapan awam session too. So everybody was just like a zombie figure out what to talk about but some had an alternative by browsing the internet. Well, like I said, it was not easy..When I was there, I hardly imagine that I was in The Apprentice program. Yups, the concepts was much same as that program where they have the evaluator and we as the contestants had to show off our capability and strength. They dun talk much as they were only the OBSERVER. But to me, I dun expected to change my character, and it’s better to be myself in a natural ways.

Oh dear….my mind relieved as the Sunday came. That was the finale. It was a hard test. When I came back home after the whole session finished, my mind was so heavy. There was a chocked inside my throat. I felt like crying but there were no tears in my eyes. I feel strange a bit as I know I am the person who are easily cry when the time I really wanted to cry. I dun know how to explain but the burden over my head was totally disappeared. So many things came out after all…I was captured again by the moment starting from the first day at the PAC. It was like a playback and all moment were still fresh.

Oh God...I realized it is not easy to get what we really want. I've tried my very best...I carried away my whole famili's hope, especially mum and my two princess. I've learn a lot..and I thought of so many things...as I drove back home late Sunday, I find myself like a person in a battle who were fighting to be the winner...and the " trophy " is unnecessary be mine...maybe win or lost.

I tried so hard...and the rest I just leave it to Allah s.w.t.

November Rain

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 09:25:00 +0000

I just love dis song...very much

November Rain
by Guns 'N Roses

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain

But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time
to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my
own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...
on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

Another nightmare

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 08:55:00 +0000

TOO LATE FOR REGRET
Rahman Daros

SOMETIMES, the choices you make will haunt you for the rest of your lives.

The parents of Preeshena Varshiny, nine, will no doubt, spend years wondering “What if ...” Last Thursday, Preeshena was found sprawled on the ground floor of Casa Mila Tower Condominium in Selayang.

The pupil of Sekolah Kebangsaan St Mary had been brutally raped and sodomised before she was mercilessly fl ung off a balcony by her assailant.

“My only mistake was that I left her alone at home. Now, I regret what had happened,” said her father, who refused to be identified.

His wife had just started working again after being a housewife for two years.

Preeshena had been left alone at home since last month.

Her mother, who also wanted to remain anonymous, wished that she had never taken the job.

“I regret taking the new job. We always taught her to be careful, especially after Nurin’s (Jazlin Jazimin) case.”

“I told her what rape was all about, the improper touching by strangers and all the precautions. I’m sure she struggled with her killer as she was a tough girl,” she said. The security guard who was on duty on the day of the incident, said he did not hear anyone screaming on his watch.

“I only heard a loud sound, like something exploded. I thought one of the machines at the laundry shop on the ground floor had exploded, because it was so loud,” he said.

The guard, who also refused to be named, said he was told that four men, a security guard and four foreigners, in their 20s and 30s, were picked up on Friday night to facilitate investigations.

Gombak police chief Assistant Commissioner Mohd Abdullah said no arrests have been made. “We are still investigating,” he said.

It was reported that the victim’s apartment was locked and that there were no signs of forced entry.

Preeshena’s slippers were still in front of the door.

Police are also looking at the possibility that the victim had been taken to a vacant unit on the second floor where she was believed to have been attacked and murdered.

- The Malay Mail

Oh dear..not again…I cant imagine the sorrow of the parents who had to face this kinda situations….as it looks like Malaysia is not safe anymore?? Even when this kid was in her own house can get raped by the sick molester?

What a “peaceful” Malaysia now…

I become emotional when I read this news today..no one can described the anger of the father when knowing that his kid has been raped in that horrible and sadistic situation. Me..like all mother out there can imagine how difficult to accept this. Enough..We dun want any similar "Nurin tragedy".

Looks like I can’t trust anyone now…

P/s: Never leave your child alone

Dizzy

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 04:07:00 +0000

Feel lazy to type, and feel dizzy to think..but too much to tell ....

How??

I've been buzy lately...work...work...and work...

Been here and there alone...since hubby is always not around...busy with his new project *sigh

I'm tired.....

Raya!!!

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 07:07:00 +0000

We had a good time celebrating raya in KB. For the first day of Raya, my mother in law prepared nasi dagang and ketupat palas while on the second day of raya, we had a menu of nasi minyak ayam gorang berempah. A lot of visitors came during the first and second day of raya and most of them are my husband’s relatives. Letih nak menerangkannya, just look at the pictures below...

Adik and kakak di pagi raya

We spent for 7 days and 6 nights in Kota Bharu. Sakan la kat sana...and we supposed to go back to KL on Wednesday , but suddenly we changed plan and decided to spend 1 night in Terengganu. So on Wednesday morning, we leaved Kota Bharu and went to Sutera Beach Resort in Setiu Terengganu.

Beautiful scenery

The pool

Well, since it was a sudden plan, we didn't expected to bring our ordinary beach goodies for the children. So, terpaksala anak anak aku pakai je apa yang ada....we tried to search around tapi kebanyakan kedai tutup.

kakak tengah lukis

swimming lagi

We plan to come here again next time. It is a beautiful place and the scenery was so nice! Thank you ayang for bringing us here!!

It's time to go back dear!!

Salam Aidilfitri

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 04:44:00 +0000

Hari Raya is coming…Ramadan is leaving….so sad….I will be celebrating this Raya at my hubby's hometown in Kota Bharu. It is almost a year since we went back last year on Raya Haji. So dis Raya would be in Kelantan mood…no ketupat, no rendang and no nasi impit. I will missed my mum’s kuah kacang.

We will be back on this Wednesday after break fast. I would prefer to travel at night since me and the kids can get enough sleep. So I forced my hubby to go back at night. Traveling will be takes time about 7 hours ++. So I will ensure everything complete before we start the journey. My tiger bum, of course is a must. It will keep me fresh when I feel dizzy mizzy. And not to forget the sweater for the children, plus some biscuits for them as a lure whenever they start to buat perangai.

I dun feel the warm of Raya mood this year. Maybe because I will be far apart from my family. Well, to be fair and square, I never complain to my hubby for the matter of balik raya . Almost 5 years of my marriage, we managed to face it peaceful, I mean no big argue on this issue. But of course, when I hear the takbir raya on the first raya, I will definitely shed my tears. Almost every time when the time we were in Kelantan, the same thing happens to me. I dun know, it is like a routine for me when being far apart from my family. My hubby has been immune with the scenario. As usual he will try to persuade me with his normal sweet talk…."takpe..call lah mama…it’s ok Yang…bukan lama pun ….etc". Normallah..nak pujuk.

Well, that's life.

For all my frens, I would like to wish Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin. May God bless u all and have a very safe journey!

p/s: Get well soon Tun Mahathir!

p/s: There are emails circulating about the post-mortem pictures of Arwah Nurin, which I think is so horrendous. Please, let's give some respect to Arwah. Anybody who has those autopsy pictures, please....stop forwarding them around...

my plant is dying...

Sleepy

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 08:06:00 +0000

I feel damn sleepy. It is normal, when u enter the office, with loads of works yg tak settle settle...

Plus my daily routine now is busier...and plus me lack of sleeping...damn....tersangat mengantuk..

Nasib bulan poser....if not I will definitely had my coffee break

I was thinking, how nice if I just can lie down like a sleeping beauty...

or just watching TV at home....

or stay at beach for a couple of days without thinking of work..

Shop, shop and shop without limits....

while driving my dream car

Phheeww...

and I can have my own room as a BOSS...!!!

Walla!!!

Mama oh Mama

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 04:53:00 +0000

I wanted to suggest something to my hubby. How nice if I can stay here nearby my mom’s house. So I can be closed with my mama..

For the first time ever, I wanted to highlight a bit about my mother. Here, eventho she might not read this.

Being anak mama is a grateful to me, cause being pampered with mama is very “worth it” I can say. Even now, I'm still using mama as my mentor. She is everything to me....without mama, I’m definitely lost. Eventho I have my beloved husband, but still, mama is always the frontliner. When something happen to me, either it is good or bad thing ( not referring to my marriage matter) believe me, mama is the first person I called, then only my hubby. And thank God, hubby is always understand. He never ask me so much about that, and he know that eventho I'm attached with mama, he's never been neglected.

When I was still single, I can remember the keyword of mama everytime she called me :

"nak balik pukul berapa harini ni? Keluar dengan sapa? Balik cepat! "

Actually I already know the questions before she asked. Besides, some of my frens have been called by mama too everytime she failed to get me. Adehh.....malu jer...hik. But I know, she always worries about me.

Now when I already have my own family, the keyword has been changed.

" Anak-anak ok tak? Bawak pegi jalan pegang tangan dorang...jangan lupa ".

Still. She sounds so worried.

I can’t imagine how’s life without her. And now i realized it is not easy to be a mother, cause now I am about to feel the same as mama too. And dis Raya, looks like I will be far apart from mama. So sad....that means I can’t taste mama’s cooking on the pagi raya. Though I can had her cooks everyday, ( since now I'm still staying in Ampang ) , but still, the tasty of her cook especially her rendang ayam and kuah satay is soooo marvelous. Even my hubby respects her cooking too.

When staying at mama’s house, I feel sooooo relieved. Not because of I am rarely entered the kitchen on weekdays lately, but the way my mom treats the kids alone is just the same as she treat me when I was small. The way she talk and the way she cherish my kids is as same as me. I feel so relieved when everytime I come back home and see my kids are always safe. And it is different when I stay alone in my house and just hope for my maid to look after my daughters everyday. The feel is very different. Everyday I will call once an hour, just to ensure that they are fine.

But that doesn't mean that I make used of her goodness, I just wanted to be near and closed to her everyday. Of course I dun want to trouble her so much and I know that now is her time to rest at home after so many years working in office. And that doesn't mean that I wanted to stay with mama forever. I need my own house too, and I have my life with hubby too. It's just that I feel how nice if I can stay nearby.

But one thing, me and mama sometimes can be defined as a good cat fighter too. Hahahah..why do I say that? Eventho we were closed, but when the times in arguing something, I can bet you…she will always be the winner..huhuhuuh….mak kalah tau…hahahah

But it doesn’t reflect me anything, I am get used of it recently. But one more thing can be described my mama…she puts a very high expectations on me..... everything I do, I will refer to her, eventho to the very small thing pun. My life, my carrier, my family and everything has been monitored by mama....and definitely sometimes, it makes me stressed a bit....cause since she already put a very high expectations on me, she always dreams and hopes the very best from me, and if I failed to give her the best, she will feel sad, and me…will definitely feel sad, guilty, regret and what ever…Well, that is the worst case scenario for me.

I can remember once, when at one time I failed PTD exam, I can see the regret on her face, eventho she hardly convince me to try again later, but still, I know she felt so sad and frustrated. I really can’t take that. I really can’t even look she feel sad, in whatever situation, I will feel the same too.

But I know, my mama is always No 1 in my heart.

P/S : Love U ma..

Berangan

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 01:37:00 +0000

I was cleaning up my room last night. Suddenly I found my previous photos*masa zaman muda muda dulu...heeee

Terus tak jadik buat kerja...dok ngadap benda tu jer...huhuhuhu...oh well, there's not so much different between dulu ngan sekarang....hahahaha...

Terus termenung jap, memikirkan kisah muda muda dolu...hahaha..and as usual terus termenung memikirkan masa depan....

Suddenly so many things crossed in my mind, and lately I was thinking of doing something beneficial for myself...including my plan to open a kindergaten...soon....that is actually my dreams. I was actually do some research lately, google here and there just to gather any info related to this business. And I find that there is a lot of plan to be done. *phew...Bilalah nak kaya nih...

Al-Fatihah

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 01:35:00 +0000

Untuk adik Nurin...
bersemadilah dengan aman...

syurga pasti menantimu disana....

Tiring day

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 02:55:00 +0000

My maid is not around at the moment. So lately everything has to be on my own. Now I know how difficult am I if I dun have maid. For a time being, my mom will look after my two kids when I’m working. Luckily, my two princess have already trained for toiletry usage since they are 2. I trained them to shi shi by their own since they are 2 years old. And luckily my two kids can get used of it.

Alhamdulillah, until now, they are ok with it and not even 1 day pun they missed their daily routine. Even at night they dun need any diepers. I will ask them to go for shi shi and brush their teeth first before they asleep. It‘s their routine since they are 2 and everyday, I will ensure they wash their hands and foot before they go to sleep. So it is easier for me and even my maid dulu cause they are now not depends on their pampers anymore. And it is safer too. Heheheh…

Back to my maid story, when I dun have any helper around, of course it’s quite tiring for me because I have to wash my baju and everything. Nasib la skang sumer pakai mesin, but luckily I have my mom, who will cater all the masak – masak thingy but at the same time I have to help my mom too.

And luckily at the moment we stay at my mom’s house, if not I have to think of my house pulak. Argghhhh…terpaksala kerja kerja mengemop lantai, vacuum, mengemas and whatever which I’ve already leave it 100% to my maid before would be my responsibility. What a tiring day…

And luckily this Ramadan I stay in Ampang. So I dun have to wake up at 4 a.m to serve a sahur for my hubby. If not my hubby will only wake up when everything is ready on the table, then he just wallop the food when the dish is ready to serve. Huhuhuhuh..,..what a King kan?

So that’s why lately, when I come back from office I will eat and then just go to sleep as early as I can. And surprisingly, not even 10 minutes, I can already have my sweet dreams….

My heart is always be with YOU

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 03:56:00 +0000

Every time I saw News nowadays about the missing children, I feel choked, sad, worry, and even angry too. Before this we had a big trauma of missing Yin. The whole Malaysian seems to be mourning, and sad of the missing Yin. Almost everyday we can read the news of searching Yin everywhere and the reward increased every single day too. But thank God, Yin at last was found by a family of Myanmar who "keep him for a while".

Now, again we were shocked of missing Nurin Jazlin who has been missing since August 20th, 2007. She is only 8 years old and was reportedly missing when she went out to Pasar Malam on the night of 20thAugust. She failed to return home after going to the pasar malam alone at 8.30pm that day.

How come the parents can let her out to Pasar Malam alone?? Her mother allowed her to go on her own to the pasar malam as it was close to their flat. Eight years old kid cannot be trusted to be alone in the big crowd of pasar malam. They cannot be trusted 100 %. They are still young and small. Maybe we dun know what is actually happen at the night, but the fact is, kids are fragile, and crimes can be everywhere.

A few days later, sources said that a neighbour’s daughter had seen a man, standing outside a van and later pulling Nurin into the vehicle. Nurin was seen being pulled into a van near a pasar malam in Wangsa Maju where she had gone. And search of Nurin become wider, lots of campaign and articles are spread out every where. But still, there is no news for Nurin. Where is she?

And more tragically, we again heard of another cruel murder of kid aged between 8 and 10. The child's naked body was found stuffed in a foetal position inside a gym bag and the said, the child's body was wiped clean of evidence. The gym bag was new too. How could anyone do this??

Other than the horrific circumstances of her murder, nothing is known about her. And why has no one come forward to claim her as their own? It is beyond human capacity to imagine that such a thing could happen. I feel sad when fisrt time I heard the news in Buletin Utama. I feel angry and at the same time so sad. I would feel that she is just like any other kids too. So naïve.

I can’t even read or listen to this kind of news anymore. It makes me feel sad, and even now I already had tears in my eyes.

Where is Nurin?

And how come this girl of no identity can be murdered in such a sadistic death…

I really dun have the answer…

I lost of words. And now, I only have a picture of my kids my mind. I can feel the trauma of the mother who has missing their kids. The scary to hear every single news everyday, and the hope to see their kids back.

Nobody knows…only Allah knows the answer.

I dedicated this old song to all missing children. My heart will always be with YOU

Kau Pergi Jua
by Adam Ahmad

Wajahmu
Seindah serinya pelangi yang indah

Seharum mawar putih segar berkembang

Wajahmu

Mengapa sering terbayang dimataku

Sehingga terbawa didalam mimpiku

Sayangku

Tahukah kau didalam hatiku ini

Tersimpan perasaan cinta nan suci

Kau bunga

Ingin kusuntingmu menjadi milikku

Lantas kuabadikan dalam jiwaku

Sayangnya

Harapan yang selama ini kubawa

Hancur berkecai musnah jua akhirnya

Semuanya bagaikan sebuah mimpi

Kau pergi jua

Setelah cinta ku kini membara

Belum sempat kucurahkan kasihku

Kau pergi tak kembali…

To Nurin, no matter how, my pray is always be with you.

To the little girl. Child, May you rest in peace. My prayers are with you. I am so sorry that you have to endure all those pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you

Ramadhan

noreply@blogger.com (anies amran) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 04:45:00 +0000

Salam Ramadan

Semoga amalan kita diberkati di bulan yang mulia ini...